The Sue Gray Dance Report vol. 4

Lord Sugar will see you now.

What have the Flying Mojito Bros., Erol Alkan, Perc and Jack out of This Is Us all got in common?  Yes, they're all men, but no. Yes, they're all over the age of 21, but no. No, they're not all in the dance music scene, but close. YES, they are all mentioned in today's Best Promos mega blog!

I'm typing these words with my left hand (remember what I said in last week's episode) whilst listening to the Greed Dance EP by Perc on Perc Trax. I've just had to turn it down so as not to disturb the bin men outside. It's really good. The A-sdie, I mean, side, is called Greed Dance, and the two B-sides are called Resistor and 240 Volts.

Greed Dance is a banger from start to finish; hard kick drum beats fall angrily out of the speakers repeatedly until the song finishes in an even angrier manner, which is what Perc has always done best.

Resistor is a right bloody racket! In a good way. Resistor sounds like a faulty food blender being kicked into the middle of next week by it's muscular, unemployed and devastatingly-single and efficient German owner. He's 29-years old and loves binge-watching Cobra Kai with a few cold cans of cheap German lager to cheer himself up. I think he's either got long hair or it's very closely cropped - I can't decide. His girlfriend (childhood sweetheart) died in a massive autobahn pile-up last year and little things like a kitchen appliance not working properly sets him off.

A 240V outlet will have 240 volts and is commonly needed for larger electrical appliances in the home, such as a kitchen range, space heater or window air conditioning unit. Since these appliances require more electricity, a larger outlet is necessary. Not my words, the words of Amy Sutton at Hunker magazine, but she wasn't talking about 240 Volts by Perc, she was talking about 240 volts in plugs.

240 Volts by Perc has a similar sounding kick drum to the one in Greed Dance, but he's pitched it up. I know, I'm a bit of an audio production nerd! I also used to DJ (I played Sundissential in 2000), so I know my way around a BPM, and I'd confidently say it's exactly the same speed as Greed Dance, too. No, hang on, it's slower. Sorry. However, where Greed Dance is angry, 240 Volts is hopeful and even happy in places. It's got a nice melody thing every now and again between the beats sections, and it carries on being loud and noisy until the very end where you can hear the producer wheezing and the song stops. I loved that bit.

I would have to give Greed Dance EP by Perc a solid 10/10

Buy it: Greed Dance EP

Follow Perc on Twitter: @PercTrax

I mentioned the Flying Mojito Bros. on here last week because I wanted to alert the seven people who read this blog to their cool brilliant brilliance. Their new single, Eight Miles Higher, is - as people in America say - freakin' awesome dude, can I get fries with that hot tamale?! Bang bang! Yeeeeeehawwww mama!!!

I first heard of Flying Mojito Bros. after I saw (and heard) them DJ at The Social last year and I vowed there and then to pick up my blogging pen again after four long years in the metaphorical Great Basin, or, if you prefer, the Mohave, in order to make them rich and popular dance stars in 2022. They play and make a style of music that sounds effortless, is steeped, steeped, in funky country cosmic Americana cosmic-ness and they also seem like a nice pair of lads. I read an interview they did with Mark Broadbent and they came across as sound.

Flying Mojito Bros 🌵🌵 · Eight Miles Higher

Eight Miles Higher is a modern take on The Byrds', Eight Miles High. FMB take it higher, though, so it's better to play Eight Miles Higher in a club situation. Play Eight Miles High to impress your dad or male guardian when he visits and trick him into thinking you're finally getting into the music that he always says is better than the rubbish you usually annoy him with.

Flying Mojito Bros. return to The Social on Saturday 5 March 2022 and you can get involved by pressing this link here: Relatively Clean Ravers

Eight Miles Higher by the Flying Mojito Bros. gets a Yankee Doodle 10/10 !!!!

Buy it: Eight Miles Higher

Buy a limited edition cassette: Relatively Clean Ravers tape

Follow them on Twitter: @FlyinMojitoBros

I wrote some notes the other night, but I can't think of much else to do with them. Read below and you get the gist, though; I was wondering if anyone genuinely finds the comedians on Live at the Apollo funny. Really, genuinely funny. I happened to switch over to Live at the Apollo by accident and watched ten minutes of it agape.

Live at the Apollo. Vagina lips. Jamaican war correspondent. They wrote this stuff down and it actually made their act and they actually got on the telly with it. Shots of people really laughing hard in crowd. Rubbish.

It's not like Best Promos, is it?!

Anyway, I see the Easter eggs are in the shops now. Unbelievable. I'm shaking my eyes and rolling my head at it, believe you me. Gets earlier every year, doesn't it, ladies and gentlemen? I was in Sainsbury's in Eastcote mid-January and they...don't get me started. What am I trying to say? Yes...and where chocolate goes, greedy Ivan Smagghe and greedy Erol Alkan follow. They have now put tickets to their Maundy Thursday into Good Friday Easter celebration in the shops for us to buy.

On Thursday 14 April 2022, Smagghey and our Erol play B2B from 10pm to 4am - ALL NIGHT LONG at Studio 9294 in Hackney to remember the death and resurrection of Our Lord - and if I didn't live in Ruislip, and have a family and a job I need to keep, and if I was twenty years younger, I'd definitely be buying tickets for it. I'd be clicking on this link here to buy tickets for it because you really can't go wrong with Ivan Smagghe and Erol Alkan.

Mid-00s Ivan Smagghe looks a bit like Jack from This Is Us, and I have to say, Jack and Ivan are both really nice people, too.

That's me done for today. Back soon.

Email me here: bestpromos4eva@gmail.com

Tweet me here: @BestPromos4Eva

BEST PROMOS...it's Grrrrrrrrrrilliant!