Rest in Peace, Lola. Gone, but never forgotten. Look over and watch over Pops and Lexi. They will need you more than ever now. Jay will no doubt move on to another bird on the Square, but you might as well watch over him, too. He did love you for a few months. In Jesus' name. Amen. Rest in Peace, our delicate flower. A true tart with a heart.
I had to get that out of the way before starting the post proper. Lola was great in EastEnders, a real positive ray of positive sunshine.
And yes, I did mean to use the word, "positive", twice in the same sentence.
Yo. I was driving along the streets of Eastcote in my blue Skoda Fabia whip last week and a song came on the radio that made me sit up, wake up and take notice. You'll be surprised to learn that it was the new Beyoncé song. I'm not usually bothered by her tunes, but when America Has a Problem came on Kiss FM, I spat my cornflakes all over the steering wheel! I thought to myself, "I know who produced this without even looking on Wikipedia! It's Egyptian Lover and Art of Noise!". I then turned up the volume to number 22 and shouted out the window to an old couple walking their dog, "I know who produced this without even looking on Wikipedia! It's Egyptian Lover and Art of Noise!".
Have a listen:
It sounds a bit like Egyptian Lover and Art of Noise have produced it, doesn't it?
Doesn't it? I'm scared to look on Wikipedia in case I'm wrong...
Speaking of dogs, I'm going to say something controversial now:
KILL ALL DOMESTIC DOGS
Either kill the dogs or their owners. I'm not sure what would be best yet - I've not thought it through properly - but I'm a bit tired of walking around Bessingby Park with my eyes fixed to the ground. And I'm a bit tired of having dogs jumping and yapping around me and me kids at Warrender Park and the owners cheerfully letting me know that they're "just being friendly". Do you know what I mean?
Dogs and their owners are a nuisance and they have no place on this earth. The whole team here at Best Promos hhhhhhhhhhhates them. Kill them all.
Thanks.
Anyway, I received an electronic letter yesterday from the Irish dance star from Ireland, Peter O'Polytunnel. I didn't read it all, but I think the gist of it was this:
"Please plug my new EP and I'll give it you for free."
What Peter Polytunnel doesn't know is that Best Promos only gets about 30 views per post, so me plugging it on here won't do ANYTHING to help him! LOL. Still, a nice little digital music freebie for yours truly, methinks *rubbing my hands together and winking*
I still can't believe Scuba thought it would be a good idea to send me some limited edition vinyl in exchange for a 10/10 on here! I think about 25 people read that particular post. Chortle!
This Ruchill Raw EP is bloody brilliant, though! It's four tracks of the best Irish dance music I've ever heard, and it's living rent free in my head. 100%. Imagine Art of Noise mixed with Egyptian Lover in the chill out room at an I Love Acid night and you'll get the picture.
My favourite track on it is The Last Leap because it sounds like Egyptian Lover has produced the drum pattern on it. Have a listen:
It's good isn't it? The whole album, I mean, EP, is good too. It's so good that I'm going to award it a MASSIVE 10/10 !
BUY IT HERE: Ruchill Raw - Polytunnel
Follow Polytunnel on Twitter and on Instagram
Follow Stepback Records on Instagram
I'm not saying Paul Oakenfold is a crap DJ, but he's about as much use as a chocolate teapot! And he's a wanker. I had Kisstory on the radio on Saturday night and I thought he sounded like he was absolutely crapping himself. I shouted across the fence to my neighbours, "James! Stick Kisstory on! Paul Oakenfold sounds like he's absolutely crapping himself during every link! I think something's about to come out, and I don't mean crap out of his bum!"
And my hunch was proved right. Again. I bet Egyptian Lover would never do that kind of thing. He'd most likely sing a song about actually getting off with a gorgeous woman because they'd want to be getting off with him, too, but then he'd end up having sex with his 808 instead. In a Ferrari or something. He wouldn't flash at them.
I wonder if Paul Morley would?
Anyway, I just hope Cream do the right thing and cancel Paul Oakenfold's famous residency with them ASAP (as soon as possible).
Someone who is the opposite of a wanker (I think. No, he's definitely not) is the Black Country industrial techno big shot, Manni Dee. He's got a new song out called HOT and, in a departure for industrial techno, this one has got some singing on it. River Moon is the singer on it.
River Moon is singing about how hot they are, which I think we can all relate to. I've been wearing a t-shirt and shorts for the last couple of weeks and I've even cracked the Mitchum out so that my armpits don't ronk! I've swapped the thick winter duvet out for the summer one and I'm hardly using the machine dryer for laundry anymore. That reminds me, I need to get into the habit of making sure the ice cube trays are re-filled and put back in the freezer every morning before the sunny afternoons. There's nothing worse than going for some ice cubes and the tray is empty!
HOT by Manni Dee and River Moon gets a COOL 10/10 from everyone here at Best Promos.
HOT by Manni Dee and River Moon is OUT NOW on Silk + Steel.
BUY IT HERE: HOT by Manni Dee and River Moon
Follow Manni Dee on Instagram
Follow River Moon on Instagram
I can't think of anything else to say about that statement. I need to be on some more promo lists, though, I'm getting jaded.
Who is looking after the excellent Melissa Maouris promos these days? How do I get on them? Did they get shared out amongst the other PR companies? Maybe I need to contact someone at Spun Out to get put on their list. I like all of the people on Spun Out.
I don't know where this post is going now. Hang on.
Yes. I went to Hollan...the Netherlands last week. I smoked spliffs and ate cheese whilst cycling around the red light district with a massive toy windmill strapped to my head, singing this:
That was a funny story, wasn't it?
I'd better go. Hartelijk dank.
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