What a week, eh readers? This time last week, Boris Johnson was still the Prime Minister, HRH Queen Elizabeth II was still ruling us and the Cost of Living Crisis was still a thing! Today, Liz Truss is the Prime Minister, Prince Charles is now KING Charles III because HRHRHRHR Queen Elizabeth II is now a dead body and NOBODY cares about the Cost of Living Crisis because we're all more than happy to stick that on the back burner and punt up the cash for the Queen's state funeral next week. I genuinely don't mind wearing a vest, an extra cardigan, a pair of tights under my cords, an extra pair of socks and my West Bromwich Albion hat and gloves set all day, every day, this winter if it means bonny King Charles III gets to give his old lady a proper send off.
Poor old Queen. I wish she was still around, but she's not. She's definitely dead *upside down smiley face with tears*
I went down to Buckingham Palace on Friday afternoon to pay my respects and to take lots of smug selfies for my friends who aren't able to be in London at the moment to enjoy the excitement, and I came across a totally wicked sound system outside the gates. Ch-check it out:
I've tried to Shazam that remix of "Macho Man" Randy Savage's theme song, but it's so rare it's not even on Shazam! It must be a white label so, if anyone has a copy, can they send it over, please? I'd like to play it as my opening track (and my "one more" at the end of the night) when I start doing the Best Promos night at The Social. Thanks!
Today's post starts..................................................now:
beatsbyhand could do with retaking his GCSE in English, or in his case, the National Senior Certificate of South Africa because his grammar and ting is all over da shop! Errr, do they even have Caps Lock/Shift keys and space bars in Jo'burg? Like, come on, u get me?! LOL! Beats By Hand, I mean, beatsbyhand, has overcome his educational deficiencies and produced what is, in my opinion, the best promo that Charlie Tilley at HYPE-Filter has ever sent me. It's better than a lekker big plate of slap chips, and no mistake.
Any album that confidently kicks off with a cover of a classic is alright by me, and I Am Jazz opens with a chilled-out take on La Da Dee La Dee Da by Gypsy Woman. It's the kind of version that makes you wish you had a hammock to listen to it on.
Have a lie down on your floor and listen to this:
The rest of the album sounds similar, in a good way, and like me; Soul Clap and Wolf + Lamb love this album, too, probably. It's the kind of record you could put on in the background to trick some new friends into thinking that you're trendy, and to establish a cultural higher ground over them, and it's also the kind of stuff you could play in a bar/club to impress the punters who are there for some nice, relaxing house music. Do not, I repeat, do not play any of this album at House of God, Atomic Jam or any of the nightclubs in Rotterdam.
You will get spat on.
Play it at Spirtland or something.
So, to summarise: I Am Jazz by Beats By Hand, I mean, beatsbyhand, will definitely make your party kief if you play it out at a jol, etc, and it get's a SOLID 10/10 on this website.
I Am Jazz by beatsbyhand is out on Friday 30 September on Stay True Sounds.
Don't be a domkop, pre-order it here: I Am Jazz | beatsbyhand
Follow beatsbyhand on Twitter
Follow beatsbyhand on Instagram
Whoops. Sorry. I've just been informed by my granddad that the opening track on I Am Jazz is a cover of Gypsy Woman (She's Homeless) by Crystal Waters, not La Da Dee La Dee Da by Gypsy Woman.
Best Promos are happy to correct this and we offer our apologies for the confusion and any offence caused.
(as long as you're British) Ten days ago, the world was a different place. Ten days ago, instead of us all wearing black ties and laying flowers everywhere, the world was in glorious technicolour as we celebrated the release of the brand new album on one of the best record labels in the world, Running Back. I've been celebrating Running Back's releases on here since day one (Jan. '22), and I've made it no secret that I would love to be on their promo list, so I'm unashamedly plugging their music on here again. I am a man without shame.
In my head, I have Running Back and Disco Halal fighting it out for the top spot in my Premier League of record labels. Disco Halal went top of the table recently after Maximum Flavour scored a stunning brace with Chef's Kiss, but the gaffer, Gerd Janson, has made a switch and stuck the big man, Philipp Lauer, on up front and he's scored seven goals in just 36.25 minutes! And yes, the ref has blown for full time and Cyclone Days is now being sung from every corner of the stadium in that 80s robotic electro voice, if you can imagine that.
Philipp Lauer does modern Italo and stuff like that better than anyone else, and Running Back put out loads of stuff like that anyway, so this signing makes sense on every level. Cyclone Days by Philipp Lauer is seven tracks of stuff that will knock the stuffing out of any dance floor or house party you play it at, and will sound even better if you've got a bit of stuff inside you. My favourite track is Exterminate, it's like the Pet Shop Boys meet New Order on the dancefloor of the Haçienda whilst Brian Ferry rides a donkey across the top of the bar in a Noddy Holder top-hat whilst Ivan Smagghe goes back to back with Flemming Dalum...on steroids! Do you know what I mean?
It's a pure 10/10 LP.
Cyclone Days by Philipp Lauer is OUT NOW on Running Back Records
Buy it here: Cyclone Days | Lauer
Follow Philipp Lauer on Instagram
Follow Running Back Records on Instagram
Follow Ivan Smagghe on Instagram
Follow Flemming Dalum on Instagram
I've not really listened to much else this week, to be honest. Ooh. I tell a lie, I've been listening to an exclusive promo .mp3 zip file .wav of a Carlton Doom (real name, Carl Doom) album that's coming out in October, the month of the beast. It's so secret, that I'm not allowed to preview any clips on here yet or even describe it...but I'm a rebel and a controversial writer, so I'm going to describe it anyway...I don't care...
...BRKN024 - MASTER WAVs* by Carlton Doom (real name, Carlton Dorchester) is four tracks of pure dance music. I can't wait for it to be October so that everyone can buy it on vinyl, it's fantastic. October is also the month that I'll be officially reviewing it on here. You didn't hear it from me, but I think we're looking at a nifty 10/10 for it, and all. Keep it under your hat.
"Four tracks of pure dance music - Best Promos" - you can stick that quote on your poster if you want?
Until this release is released, buy all of his other stuff on here: Music | Carlton Doom
And here: down-in-red-light-ep / etc. linktr.ee/Carltondoom
Follow Carlton Doom on Twitter
Follow Carlton Doom on Instagram
* probably not the official release title. It will probably be something gothic.
I'll be down The Social on Wednesday night this week for the Ivy Recrods (not my spelling mistake) Night, and to see my new favourite guitar (sorry, dance fans) band, ROWSIE. I bigged them up to the max on last week's post, so I'm not going to stick my tongue out any further today, but I will reiterate the offer of ONE FREE PINT to anyone who is about and comes down to see them, too. I'll be there with at least one chum, but I'm here today to URGE you to come down and have a right good laugh in central London with the CEO and Managing Director of Best Promos.
It's the only bar/club in central London you can have a laugh in, I think.
Come and have a laugh.
ROWSIE at The Social will probably be a 10/10 night, and it's free to get in. It'll be a laugh. Sorted.
this is crap rubbish blog. ne1 knows that running back is NOT a fckin football team and Gerd janson is NOT affukin footy manager. Bring back the RA forum threads NOT this load of crap. Sorry best Promos but this is a NO from me >:-(
ReplyDeleteAndrew Ryce - dance journalist in the United states of america
Cheer up Andrew! You'll wrinkle less ("J)
ReplyDeleteI'll wrinkle u in a minute. U come to USA and say that 2 my face and I'll turn u inside out then grate you all over a piece of my mama's pizza pie, u limey douchebag.
DeleteAndrew R - America dance journo. USA.
This blog might as well be King Charles III fingers.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Andrew. Finally. This is the first sensible comment on this thread!
DeleteI have an idea for a joke about King Charles, I’m struggling with the details but the punchline is ‘The Artist Formerly Known as Prince!!! *Everyone LOLz & ROTFLTFTO…*
ReplyDeleteAnyone has any ideas on how to flesh it out plz email me.
That is a very funny punchline. I've gone out to the Twitter community for help on the setup.
Delete"Who buries his something something at great cost to everybody but himself etc etc and has massive ears something something?
The Artist Formerly Known As Prince"
Something like that, but better.
Man Power from Fulchester has written in to offer this as a set up:
Delete"What combines a Sexy Mother Fucker and a Sweaty Nonces Brother?"
"The Artist Formerly Known As Prince"