Welcome to Best Promos, readers. We've got a busy show ahead of us today, and, if I may say so, not unlike this shambolic Tory government, we've got a chaotic road ahead of us, because, listeners, I mean, readers, not only are you sat there in your workwear, or your nightie, or your emergency services uniforms, you are sat there wearing, what must be, a deep shade of shame across your faces for voting in this shambles. This cacophony of chaos. This mass of mayhem, to rule and set the rules for the way we live our lives today. You and me. Not them. Aren't you?
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Look in the mirror. How red are your cheeks? No, not those cheeks! Honestly. Readers. Take a moment to just sit back and think about this. Take a sip of tea. Or a sip of coffee.
Or a sip of lager. You might be down the Wetherspoon's. Old Intolerant Tim is topping you up, keeping you stupid as his mates, THIS government, are Brexit bathing in YOUR money and rubbing YOUR humiliation into their fat, piglet bellies as YOU go hungry and can't afford to keep the kettle on this winter. It's ok for you to not have a cup of tea at Christmas, isn't it? Imagine that, readers, no tea on Christmas morning, whilst creepy Kwasi and his banker bros are literally SWIMMING in tea in their massive swimming pools paid for by YOUR future. Maybe Father Christmas will pay for our heating bills. Maybe Father Christmas will feed YOUR children. Maybe Father Christmas can't afford to feed his reindeer and Christmas will be another pretty, wrapped-up box ripped out of our grovelling hands by Ebenezer Truss and her gang of ghouls.
Think about it. Listeners, I mean, readers. Where we are, as a country, today? Great Britain? Great? Really? Hmm. How have we ended up where we are today? Where are we today? Where are you? What are you doing? How do we get out of the merry mess we're in?
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I want to hear from you, readers, because it's not me who's going without cups of tea this winter. It's not me who can't afford to download the latest shoulder-pad techno and hard bag on Bandcamp. This government are SHOWERING me in MP3s and WAVs. I can't move for Running Back and Disco Halal promos, well I can, because I'm still not on their promo lists, but anyway, you get the picture.
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What is going on? We've got a caller on line four. Steve in Walsall. Steve, what's on your mind?
Alright, mate? How we doing, mar mate?
I'm ok, Steve. What's on your mind?
I just wanted to say how crap I think the new Perc EP is.
*spluttering* Pardon??
Yeah, mate, it's proper rubbish. It's just six minutes of noise and massive drum beats.
Are we talking about the same thing here, Steve? Dirt by Perc? The new 3-track EP on Perc Trax? It's ruddy brilliant.
Yowm jokin', aye ya?! It aye, though, James, I mean, Best Promos. It gid me an headache. I just think these producers get paid a load of money - and doe forget it's ordinary working class people like me who pay for these records - and we need more melodies and nicer vocals. Dirt is literally just noise with a 2-second clip of a famous piano tease in the middle. I cor stand it.
Steve, you're talking rubbish. Sorry mate, but you are. Nobody is making you buy Dirt by Perc. If you want melodies and Disney princess vocals, you've got Defected and whatever label Masters at Work are on nowadays. People love Perc for precisel...
...but James, I mean, Best Promos, it's too fast and the two remixes sound exactly the sam...
...I gave you your chance to speak, Steve, and now it's my turn. Don't interrupt. The remixes are not exactly the same, there are many subtle differences if you'd bothered to actually listen to them all. You can't just phone up and rubbish an EP by a brilliant industrial techno producer/DJ, and incidentally, a really nice bloke in real life, without giving it the chance it deserves.
You'd have to be off your head on ganja or something to like it.
Right. Steve, let me educate you. Opening up the release is the original mix of Dirt, layering searing top end percussion over cropped breakbeats before dropping unexpectedly to an unmistakable classic piano riff. The riff has been completely replayed and re-recorded rather than sampled and provides the kind of sudden jolt that Perc's productions are famous for. And if you think that's "rubbish", then, I'm sorry, but you deserve every misery you get this winter. It's a solid 10/10.
Tonka in Northolt on line 2. Tonka, what would you like to say?
Alright mate. I'm not being funny, but there's been a lot of talk around Northolt that that Geordie DJ, Man Power, has got a new EP coming out at the end of October. He's been going around Twitter telling people who've got a voice; DJs, radio presenters, bloggers like yourself, to get in touch with him so that they can listen to it before everyone else can for free, and I just think it's unfair on ordinary working class people like me who are struggling to boil a kettle, let alone pay for a digital album on Bandcamp.
I'm sorry to hear that, Tonka, but don't you thi...
...my mate, Draper, he sent Man Power a DM to say he DJs at the Hop and Vine on Ruislip High Street, and Man Power sent him the download link without question. Draper doesn't DJ at all, and to my knowledge, there is no DJ night at the Hop and Vine yet - there should be, though! There's just no scrutiny going on, no quality control over who's getting Man Power's promos, and I'm sure it's all good stuff that he's coming out with, but why is it always the cool people who get these promos and the likes of me end up having to pay through the fucking nose six months after everyone else has moved on?
Woah. Hang on, Tonka. This is how dance music promotion works. The producers produce, the PR bods write some bonkers sentences to describe the music and send it out in rings to the peop...
...I used to write a successful blog. I know how these things work mate, and, to be honest: getting out of blogging was the best thing I ever did. The whole dance scene is swimming in fake, insincere try-hards. Chubby Funster and Seb Wheelie at Mixmag, Josh Baines at Vice, I did them all in. I was the fucking best. Now look at me. I have to use Pirate Bay for my m-m-m-m-m-music now. I'm a right sad case, but I'm telling ya, I was the best. Better than you. Better than this load of crap. Best Promos? You're having a laugh, mate. There's nothing "best" about this at all. Nobody even reads this blog.
Sounds like you're living in the past, Tonka, it really does, and there's no need to swear on this show, I mean, blog, and people do read this blog. They really, really do.
Look, Tonka, I'm trying to get my ducks in a row. Man Power does have a new EP coming out at the end of October, and it's with Junto Club and Club Tularose, actually, but you're absolutely right, and maybe it's not fair that you'll end up paying for it, but he can't give it out for free to everybody, can he?!
No, what I'm saying is...
...no, let me finish. He can't just give his music out to every Tom, Dick and Harry because he's got to live, too. Do you think Man Power can pay for cups of tea with positive social media interactions alone? No, he, like every dance music producer on the planet, not just in Gateshead, deserves a living wage, and if you're not going to let him earn what he deserves then, I'm sorry, but you're just as bad as Boris.
Yeah, but he gets to fly all ov...
...doesn't matter! Doesn't matter! That's his job! Right, let me tell you, Tonka, I've had a listen to this EP and it's a solid 10/10, and when I'm allowed to play it on here, I will because the whole of Ruislip needs to hear it, and I think, Tonka, you need to go back in your box and stay there. Or grow up.
Blood Money Power by Man Power is out on Me Me Me on Friday 28 October.
Carl on line 7. Carl, you're in Little Portland Street, what's going on?
Yeah, I just wanted to say that I saw on Twitter last night that James O'Brien from LBC used to go to Trade at Turnmills, and is a big fan of Tony De Vit, so I was just wondering what the chances would be of getting James O'Brien to do a hard house set with you guys at The Social?
James O'Brien DJing, or curating, a hard house night at The Social with Best Promos? How many pints deep at Wetherspoon's are you, Carl?! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
No, I'm serious. Ros Atkins off the news has done a couple of drum and bass nights at The Social this year, so why not ask James O'Brien to work with Best Promos to do a one-off hard house night?
Would it have to be hard house? All night? Not sure that would work, to be honest, Carl.
No, I mean, you could still have Pete Fowler upstairs. Could have a live set by Galaxy Brain or something. Maybe get Ambient Babestation Meltdown and Joe Europe involved, Manni Dee might be up for showing up. Man Power, maybe? Man2.0. Anne Savage is a laugh, she'd probably play a set for you. These are just names off the top of my head.
Certainly sounds interesting, Carl, I suppose you'd have to try and get in touch with James O'Brien in the first instance, though, because without him it's just a blog that nobody has ever heard of playing records that people stopped listening to in 2001. Thanks for the call, though.
Love the blog, by the way, Best Promos. Hope you start getting more readers.
Thanks, Carl, appreciate it. Some interesting points there, and a lot of information to ponder from all of our callers today. I need a cup of tea now...
...but, before we leave today's show, I wasn't there, unfortunately, but Ros Atkins and Ray Keith at The Social last week was, by all accounts, a 10/10 performance.
Ok, that's about all we've got time for today. Coming up, Mystery Hour with Riz Lateef, and the news and weather with Nick Ferrari. Join me tomorrow, where I'll be microtometercandyhell. Goodbye.
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