Best Promos: One Written Psalm is Fortune’s Book

After last week's, quite frankly, ludicrous campaign to have all domestic dogs in the UK destroyed, the offices here at Best Promos HQ have been swarmed by packs of angry dogs from all across the UK and their meek, subservient owners following twenty yards behind them, looking embarrassed. It was a weekend demonstration to rival anything by the Just Stop Oil lot, and they set out to cause Best Promos maximum disruption. One dog shouted through the letter box that it should be ME that gets despatched, and that SHE'D gladly pull the lever, the bitch. Another one fouled on the parking space marked, EDITOR OF BEST PROMOS, and his owner did not pick it up. I had to send Pottsy out to deal with it, and he did so in typical Pottsy style: as he bent over to pick up the dog muck, he pulled his trousers down and did a big, loud, smelly pump in the direction of the angriest-looking Doberman on the protest. Pottsy is as mad as a box of wasps, but he's loyal, and a terrific character to have on side in situations like this. He doesn't care if you're a cross dog, a juiced-up bouncer or a simple copper; if you're getting on my nerves, he's going to pull his trousers down at you for me. He's a great bloke.

Eventually, the dogs and their "owners" went back home and the furore was no more. A furore doesn't last that long anymore, does it?

So, with that all cleared up, we are now able to settle down and get on with the important task of reviewing some dance music. Let's review some dance music! Let's review some dance music! Let's review some dance music! Come on, sing along with me...Let's review some dance music! Let's review some dance music! Let's review some dance music!

Let's review some dance music.

This is not so much a dance music release review, but more of a nod towards a radio show that I think you should be listening to. It's on NTS, and it's called the Giles Smith Radio Show, I think? It might not be called that, but if he wanted to use that name, I wouldn't take legal action.

Have a listen to this and then continue reading the rest of the post:

NTS Thursday · Giles Smith 010623

It's good isn't it? I wrote to Giles the other night to congratulate him on his success and to thank him for playing a track by Los Amigos Invisibles, who I'd never heard of before listening to this episode. I've had one of their albums on loop all week since. It's perfect summer music. Giles was kind enough to take the time out of his day to write back, too, so that was nice.

This is Giles Smith's first solo show for NTS after the conscious uncoupling from James Priestly recently, and I think he should be very proud of himself. I bet he was a bag of nerves, but it's a fun couple of hours and he comes across as a really sound bloke.

I was going to do a bit about him being the only Giles in dance music, but then I remembered Giles Peterson.

I'm rambling a bit now, sorry. To conclude, I'll say that this is the best radio show on the planet at the moment, and if you don't give it a go you're thick. The Giles Smith Radio Show on NTS gets a ROLLICKING 10/10 ! Give it a go.

Listen to it here: Giles Smith | NTS

Follow Giles Smith on Instagram

When I'm not listening to rock n roll, I'm listening to dance music, and right now, I'm not listening to rock n roll, so I must be listening to dance music, and I am (listening to dance music), and the dance music that I'm listening to is a song called M25160 by a bloke called The Maghreban featuring King Kashmere. That sounds a bit more exciting than Giles Smith, doesn't it, readers?

I am a long time supporter of The Maghreban, I think he's absolutely fantastic, and I'm not just saying that because he's mates with the bloke who played Avery in EastEnders and I'd love to meet him one day (Avery, not The Maghreban), but what I really love about this new track is that The Maghreban is openly admitting to being lazy in the press release:

"The first 3 12”s I released were jungle records, in the mid 90s. I’ve not really gone back there creatively since, but the genre definitely informs many of my productions.

I felt like speeding up a tune I put out a few months ago to see how it sounded at 160 bpm. It worked so I made a bit more of an intro and outro on it and am presenting it here. Very little money for old rope."

I can identify with this because I often go to the Wayback Machine and lift entire paragraphs, bits, and whole articles I wrote years ago from the now defunct Weekly Review of Dance Music and Tonka's Week on Ran$om Note. LOL.

M25160 is an Aldi knock off, speeded up version of this:

I've just had a look and this new song isn't even out until 28 June, and I don't think there are any ways of listening to it publicly yet, so this review is a bit of a waste of time for two reasons:

1) I can't play you the track and you'll have forgotten about this review by the 28 June

2) Nobody reads this blog anyway

It's a brilliant track, though, and it's got everyone here at Best Promos rockin'! We've had a team meeting and have settled on a score of 10/10 for it.

M25160 by The Maghreban feat. King Kashmere is out on Wednesday 28 June on Zoot Records.

Pre-order it here: ZootRecords / TheMaghreban / M25160

Follow The Maghreban on Twitter and on Instagram

The third and final tune I'm reviewing today is called Bubblin, and it's by a bloke called Julio Bashmore. To be honest, it's been out for a few weeks now, and I've only just got around to downloading the promo!

It's a right bloody racket. Have a listen, and if you hate your neighbours, pump up the volume on it:

Bubblin is almost as stupid as Tiga's Mind Dimension. Not as stupid, but it's in the same classroom...in a good way! It's the kind of track you'd put on after peak time to start warping the punter's brains a bit, and to make them laugh at the same time. It's the good kind of stupid dance music, and the whole team here at Best Promos has had a lot of fun downing Dutch pingers whilst listening to it on their lunch hour. Pottsy even pulled his trousers down and slapped his bare bum in a 4/4 time signature during the break down!

I love Bubblin because it's stupid, and the lyrics are easy to remember. I hereby grant it a scholarly 10/10 !

Bubblin by Julio Bashmore is OUT NOW on Local Action.

Buy it here: Bubblin | Julio Bashmore (bandcamp.com)

Follow Julio Bashmore on Twitter and on Instagram

Follow Local Action on Instagram

Now...EFF OFF!!!

Email me: BestPromos4Eva@gmail.com

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