Adidas Campus

What's gold and lonely?

Roy Castle's trumpet! LOL

I think it's important to start a new post with a funny joke. It sets the mood and puts everyone at ease. In fact, I'm going to pepper this week's post with rib-ticklingly amusing wisecracks.

Hey. I've got some good news, readers!

I bought a new pair of trainers last week, a pair that I have bought many times over the years: a nice pair of blue Adidas Campus 80s (UK size 9.5), just like the ones Ad-Rock used to wear, and let me tell you, readers, I feel like a million dollars! Anyone who wears Nike, New Balance, Converse, Veja, Reebok or Puma and thinks that they look cool needs their heads testing. Adidas Campus are the best trainers, and if you disagree with me, come down to Eastcote and tell me to my face and we'll see what happens. Ok? I'll show off my new Adidas Campus to you and make you jealous. Bish bash bosh. Simples.

Phillip has left This Morning because he's had a MASSIVE falling out with Holly over him having drinks with a CONTENT REMOVED BY BEST PROMOS LAWYERS, getting him drunk and then sticking his CONTENT REMOVED BY BEST PROMOS LAWYERS where the sun don't shine! Very strange man. Apparently, after his pervert brother told him that he'd been interfering wiv da kids, Phillip just told him very nicely to not do it again! If I told one of my sisters that I'd been fiddling with a young 'un, she'd have my guts for garters...and rightly so.

I ask you!

Let me do another joke. It's getting a bit serious in here! Hang on.

I had a listen to an old David Mancuso mix the other day. I'm not saying he can't beat match, but he's about as much use as a chocolate teapot! LOL

It's the way I tell 'em.

Ch-Check It Out: I received a super cool Irish email from my Irish DJ chum, Tr One, last week. This isn't a joke, by the way.

He said he was "super proud" to announce that the next record on Intrinsic Rhythm will be by John Heckle, and it's going to be called, Return To Titan. He said that the track titles are, A, 7C, DSI and CII. I thought to myself, "they're really boring song names, but you should never judge a book by its cover."

Les Yeux Orange · PREMIERE : John Heckle - A (John Beltran Remix)

I replied to ask if John's deft touch and skill will be matched by a remix by Michigan techno great Joey, I mean, John Beltran by providing a hypnotic club ready remix of A. Tr One replied immediately to say, "John's deft touch and skill will be matched by a remix by Michigan techno great John Beltran by providing a hypnotic club ready remix of A." Thank God for that!

If he hadn't have sent me a free promo copy of it, I would have definitely put my hand in my pocket and paid for it, and I'll tell you why: the team here at Best Promos have awarded it a r-r-r-r-r-r-really prestigious 10/10 !!

Great stuff. Return To Titan by John Heckle is out on Friday 9 June 2023 on the brilliant Intrinsic Rhythm

PRE-ORDER IT HERE: John Heckle - Return To Titan
Follow Tr One on Instagram
Follow Joey, I mean, John Beltram, I mean, Beltran. Sorry. Follow John Beltran on Instagram
I don't know if John Heckle is on social media. I wish I wasn't.

Another release that is being rhythmically pumped hard into the air and all over our faces on the 9 June is Decius Trax EP I by DECIUS. I like DECIUS. I've never met them in real life, but I imagine that they're a right laugh. The most popular song they've done is that Look Like A Man one from last year, which I think was their cheeky response track to Dude (Looks Like A Lady) by Aerosmith.

I don't know what any of the songs on Decius Trax EP I sound like yet, but maybe this is one of them:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by DECIUS (@decius.trax)

Sounds like a right bloody racket, doesn't it readers? I hope there'll be some kind of melody or tune on them when they get around to finishing it! This release is the first one on their new label, DECIUS TRAX : Rudis Impuris, and whether you like it or not, you won't be able to listen to it on Spotify. You'll have to save up your pocket money and pay for it like in the old days, or use Any Video Convertor to rip it from YouTube or Soundcloud, and with controversial track names like Just Can't Fuck It, Russian Salad and Felt Tip, you know it's going to annoy the neighbours and be well worth the £3.00.

I didn't know what Rudis Impuris meant, so I texted Boris Johnson to ask him, and he said, "Raw Impurity."

I didn't really. That was another one of my funny jokes! LOL

Decius Trax EP I is out on Friday 9 June 2023 and I bet I'm going to score it a 10/10 when I get around to hearing it.

Go and watch them live on Friday 9 June 2023, too.

Where?

The Village Undergound, of course. Silly!

BUY TICKETS HERE:

Decius (Live), Lena Willikens, Kiara Scuro, Tia Cousins + Harry James - Village Underground

PRE-ORDER THEIR NEW EP HERE: Decius Trax EP I | DECIUS (bandcamp.com)

Follow DECIUS on Instagram

Here. I say, I say, I say. Have you heard the new Leona Lewis song about radiators? It's called Keep Bleedin', Keep Keep Bleedin'! LOL

Brilliant.

I think that was a fun post. I certainly enjoyed writing it, so that means the viewing numbers will be atrocious!

I don't care, though.

I'll be back next week with more of the same...have a good one...!

Email me: BestPromos4Eva@gmail.com

Tweet me: @BestPromos4Eva

Instagram me: /bestpromos4eva/