Will Smith v Chris Rock at the Oscars reminded me of the time Lenny Henry ran on stage at The Embassy club and uppercutted Bernard Manning in his chins for making that Live Aid joke about Dawn French. Come to think of it, that was the beginning of the end of their relationship, I think. She really took it to heart and it obviously struck a nerve with him. He started wearing trendier clothes and took up Shakespeare. It could never last, unfortunately. They were a lovely couple :-(
Anyway, speaking of touchy people called Will...I had a dream last night that I was in a totally wicked bar called Wetherspoon's in fashionable Camden with the shady proprietor of Ran$om Note, Wil, an uber cool (is that term still in use? It is now...) grime journalist who specialises in grime, Ian, an Arsenal fan called Tom who is yet to become famous for eating things and doing the splits on YouTube and a whole host of other characters whose names and faces I can't remember. We were all getting absolutely Parloured, singing songs and annoying fellow diners by chucking chips at each I can't be bothered with this bit anymore. The point of it was that it wasn't a dream, but a day-dreamed memory of a Christmas p*ss-up a few years ago that actually happened. In Camden. It seemed funnier in my head when I was sat on the pan this morning.
Follow Ran$om Note on social media: @ransomnoted / /thisisransomnote/
Same with Ian: @IanMcQuaid
And Tom: /_tomusher/
DANCE REVIEWS
Garen Moreno and Nacho Marco might sound like characters in GTA Vice City, but they're not. Garen Moreno and Nacho Marco are characters who make up the modern dance band, Jet Hammer, and they've got a new EP out on one of my favourite record labels, Running Back. The Last Night EP by Jet Hammer is fantastic. Buy it and you'll find out why.
By Buying the Late Night EP by Jet Hammer you'll realise just how fantastic it is because you'll be able to hear the music they made. Simply reading about music isn't the same as listening to it.
"How much is it?"
It's only 7 euros (about £49 in pound sterling) and it'll make you feel so good inside. Really.
"'ow much?!"
I know. Absolute bargain.
Like most songs on Running Back, the music is retro AND futuristic, and my favourite track on the EP is On Your Side - Instrumental Version.
"Why?"
Because the intro reminds me of the music on Bloodsport.
"Ok, based on all the information you've just provided us with, how much out of ten would you award the Late Night EP by Jet Hammer?"
10/10
Late Night EP is out NOW on Running Back
Buy it here: Last Night EP | Jet Hammer
Follow Running Back on Twitter: @RunningBackRec
Follow them on Instagram: runningbackrecords
Ooh, hang on. I've got mail...
...what's this? Jake Price at Dispersion PR. Ok. Wow. Let me just read this out to you, readers:
“We welcome back Saved label favourite and one of Europe’s leading DJ and producer’s this month, Spencer Parker, who delivers his brand new single, ‘Kiss’. Renowned across the globe for his unique style of House, Tech House and Techno, Spencer Parker’s productions, remixes and re-edits have found homes on respected labels including Rekids, HE.SHE.THEY., Trick, Nite Grooves, Tsuba, Work Them Records, Warehouse Music and his music has been heavily supported by A-List DJ’s Ricardo Villalobos, Radio Slave, Dixon, Gerd Janson and more!
A firm favourite of label boss Nic Fanciulli’s ever since he heard the track, ‘Kiss’ emanates Spencer’s inimitable, signature sound. Sampling the infamous Sister Sledge classic, ‘One More Time’, Spencer adds his own spin on the sample incorporating funk laden drum grooves, enchanting mid-range synth melodies, crisply mixed percussion, playful bassline and a pulsating low-end, resulting in the perfect peak-time production, destined to blow up the club! Enjoy!”
Thanks for that, Jake. Appreciate it. I have to say, though, when I first read the subject header:
NEWS RELEASE: Spencer Parker returns to Nic Fanciulli’s Saved imprint for new single, ‘Kiss’
I thought this was going to be a Spencer Parker remix of Kiss by Prince, so I was a bit disappointed, but, to be honest, this song is even better after seven or eight listens. Kiss by Spencer Parker sounds nothing like the Prince version. It sounds to me like it samples One More Time by Sister Sledge.
Oh, that's what Jake Price said. Sorry, mate. Have a listen:
It sounds to me like a record you'd hear David Morales play at Space in Ibiza in the late-90s. Which is no bad thing at all. It certainly put a smile on my face this morning and has distracted me from the horror of the Oscars atrocity. Which is no bad thing at all.
Spencer Parker is a Wolverhampton Wanderers fan, apparently, and he's used loads of the filter dial on this track to ramp up the good vibes and keep us dancing like cartoon wolves at an afternoon forest wolf disco on the Tiny Tots TV channel.
Just had it confirmed, he is a Wolves fan. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I won't hold that against him, and to prove it I'm awarding Kiss a WHOPPING 10/10 + 1 !!!
Ten out of ten plus one. I don't think any dance music website has ever granted anything bigger than that. Well done, Spencer.
Kiss by Spencer Parker is out NOW on Saved Records.
Buy Kiss by Spencer Parker here: /release/kiss/
Follow Spencer Parker on social media: @spencer_parker / /spencerparkermusic/
Follow Saved Records, too: @savedrecords /saved_records/
I usually do three reviews on here each week, but loads of the stuff I've had from HYPE Filter PR isn't out until late April / May / June. Seems a bit of a waste to review it all now. All good stuff though. Loads of artists I've never heard of releasing more industrial noise and large ambient soundscapes. Great stuff, so look out for all of them reviews over the coming months. I'm looking at you, Void Complet. Zanshin. Sangre Voss. Mysterious supergroup, Protect Ryan (that has to be Ryan Elliott and DJ Protect, surely?). Sunshine Life Emulator. All brilliant stuff.
I love dance music. It's great.
So, yes, anyway, I was talking with a man the other day and he asked me what kind of cars I like. I said I like metal ones and he started to laugh. I said, "what you laughing at?" He said, "metal cars". I said, "what's so funny about that?" He said, "I thought you were going to say a Porsche or a Ferrari." I said, "but I don't drive a Ferrari." He said, "I know, but I didn't expect you to say metal". I said, "but all cars are metal." He said, "I know, but I meant what type of car." I said, "I know, and I said a metal one." He said, "I know, but not many people say they like metal cars. They'll say they like a Porsche or a Ferrari". I said, "but I don't drive a Ferrari. I drive a normal car." He said, "what kind of normal car?" I said, "it's a metal one." He started to laugh, so I asked him what he was laughing at...
I'm trying to get into comedy writing, and I sent that bit of material to Charlie Chuck last night, but he hasn't replied yet. I think it would fit right in on one of his monologues for Vic and Bob. Fingers crossed he gets back soon and accepts my offer. I want to be the next Barry Cryer. Wish me luck, readers!
I think I'm done now. Back next week.
Email me YOUR best promos: bestpromos4eva@gmail.com
Follow me on social media: @BestPromos4Eva / /bestpromos4eva/
Sorry, readers, this is probably the worst post I've, I mean, we've ever done on here. Little to no effort, rushed it. Sincere apologies. I have, I mean, we have a life outside of this blog. Best Promos means very little to me, it's just a hobby, so actually, I'm not sorry. Bye.
Be lucky, yeah?
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