For the audio nerds who read this: the Edifier speakers are connected to my Pioneer DDJ-SB3 controller with cables that have got red and black ends. The DDJ-SB3 is connected to my HP laptop via a black USB cable.
After powering on the speakers with my little remote control, I browsed my crates in Serato, nimbly navigating to exactly where I needed to be with cute finger twists, rolling the dial between my thumb and forefinger in a very professional manner. I was nodding my head and pouting despite not having yet loaded a track. I loaded White Label by Kellen303 into Deck 1 and pressed Play.
"IF YOU CHIT CHAT, YOU GET YOUR RIBS SNAPPED. IF YOU CHIT CHAT, YOU GET YOUR RIBS SNAPPED. IF YOU CHIT CHAT, YOU GET YOUR RIBS SNAPPED. IF YOU CHIT CHAT, YOU GET YOUR RIBS SNAPPED. IF YOU CHIT CHAT, YOU GET YOUR RIBS SNAPPED. IF YOU CHIT CHAT, YOU GET YOUR RIBS SNAPPED. IF YOU CHIT CHAT, YOU GET YOUR RIBS SNAPPED..." and so on and so forth.
This message, delivered in a nonchalantly English style, motivated the bin men outside to work a little bit harder because they didn't know whether or not the person playing this aggressively moody music was an 18-stone pagga enthusiast who hhhhhhhhates bin men (not me) or an 11-stone weakling who loves listening to dance promos (me). White Label is the first song on Kellen303's life's different now EP and, to be honest, it doesn't get any less bleak.
Check out his Rinse FM mix for a scary jaunt through his spooky record/MP3 collection...
Anyway, The Dream has got a dance beat behind it with a load of random noises over the top. One of them sounds like a repeating rain drop that's been recorded, sampled and over-layed with an audio effect that I've not yet listened to in Ableton - in a good way.
After that, you've got Life's Different Now. This one has some proper dance beats every now and again before going to more weird noises and sound effects. I played it to my dead nans in a dream I had last week and they both said, "it's just a load of bloody noise, Kev. Turn it off." So I did.
I travelled all the way to the Walsall area of Heaven to get that customer feedback. Hope Kellen303 appreciates that.
The Roots VIP mix of the track my dearly departed nans didn't like sounds a bit like the original, but
with different beats and sounds.
Speaking of dreams, I caught up with Kellen303 during my sleep last night/this morning. I asked him if he'd used his time during the pandemic to come up with any fancy tricks or solutions to the age old problem of breaking down creative barriers.
"Hi Kellen303. Thanks for meeting me in my dreams. Have you used your time during the pandemic to come up with any fancy tricks or solutions to the age old problem of breaking down creative barriers?"
“During the pandemic, I learned that if I set an intention before going to sleep I could use my dreams as tools to solve creative barriers I had while awake.”, explained Kellen303. “There’s a surreal eeriness that comes from this practice.”, he went on.
"Did you ever read Brandon Block's thesis on music as therapy in the New Scientist? Was there anything in Brandon Block's essay that you have used to deal with any feelings of isolation?"
“Using music as therapy during this time, the songs are a reflection of my feelings in isolation and wanting to fill the first club I played with as much bass as possible when the pandemic was over.”
"Thanks Kellen303."
That was a bit of fun, wasn't it, and the bin men certainly enjoyed it. By the end of the Roots VIP mix, they were all on the wall of my front garden, gyrating, twerking and doing the big fish, little fish rave dance, bless them. "Don't forget my food waste this week!", I called out through the net curtains in a deeper than normal voice.
It's out on Friday 25 March, but not sure where to buy it from.
If, like me, you're crazy about the Arabs and you enjoy Acid and French musicians, you'll LOVE the new Remixed album of loads of Acid Arab songs on Crammed Discs! I just wish it was out sooner that the 1 April 2022 release date!
Keep clicking on the Kellen303 Bandcamp page: Kellen303 Bandcamp
Keep refreshing the Keysound Recordings Bandcamp page: Keysound Bandcamp
Follow Kellen303 on Twitter: @Kellen303
The bin men had moved onto the next street by the end of the Kellen303 EP, so I have to abandon that amusing premise now. Which is no bad thing.
Is it?
What's next? Acid Arab...
If, like me, you're crazy about the Arabs and you enjoy Acid and French musicians, you'll LOVE the new Remixed album of loads of Acid Arab songs on Crammed Discs! I just wish it was out sooner that the 1 April 2022 release date!
"What's it like, Best Promos?"
Well, it starts off with an Ammar 808 remix of Laba Staifia. It's quite tribal and it's got a woman wailing about something. I can't understand a bleedin' word she's going on about, to be honest with you. It's fab, though. Deep Dish would have played it in the 90s.
After that, it's the Delmore remix of La Hafla. This one starts with a snake charmer playing an Eastern ditty to try and get an Eastern snake to pop out of an Eastern basket before suddenly shape-shifting into a slowed down, vocal Eastern version of Silence Complot by South American Cute Heels.
Polo & Pan (not Pan-Pot) follow that with their remix of Staifia. It's very slow and it's got another woman singing in a language I'm not able to understand. I only got an F in GCSE French, so I can't be expected to get my head around this, sorry. If anyone can let me know the lyrics to this song, I'll review it properly at a later date. Sorry Acid Arab and Polo & Pan. I'm not sorry to Pan-Pot.
Hang on a minute, what's this? Ooh. I like it. 4/4 drums. Sticks being banged. A nice hi-hat pattern and a bouncy hard house bassline. Saucy male vocals. Lovely stuff. I like this one, oh yes. What is it?
The Reflex, of course! I like him a lot. His remix of Groove Is In The Heart is proper good, innit? The Reflex is one of those rare artists who never seems to put anything crap out, and I think he's a bit under-appreciated, to be honest. Check out his stuff, buy it all and you'll never be stuck in the middle of a set. The Reflex remixes and revisions act as a dancefloor safety net. I just made that up off the top of my head, and it's true. Ejma (The Reflex Revision) is my favourite track on this release.
Soulan (Laolu Remix) is good. Soul Clap would definitely play this at some point during the evening.
I was intrigued by the Mr Boom remix of Rajel because I think the name Mr Boom is funny, but it's a bit too bonkers for me, this one. It's all over the shop. Maybe if I was on a dancefloor with a pint in my hand and a load of gear in my system it would make more sense. On a Monday lunchtime with a cup of tea, it's just noise.
I'm tired now, I shouldn't have committed to reviewing the entire album. I'll just say that the rest of the remixes are wicked and you should definitely put your hands in your pockets and make Acid Arab rich beyond their wildest dreams by buying this on their Bandcamp when it comes out on April Fools Day (1 April 2022 on Crammed Discs).
Remixed receives an Eastern-flavoured 10/10 from all of us here at Best Promos.
Remixed by Acid Arab and friends is out soon, not sure where to buy or pre-order yet. LOL. I'm useless!
Keep clicking on the Acid Arab Bandcamp page until it appears: Acid Arab
Do the same on the Crammed Discs Bandcamp page: Crammed Discs
Follow Acid Arab on Twitter: @AcidArab
Follow The Reflex on Twitter: @TheReflexMusic
Follow Crammed Discs on Twitter: @CrammedDiscs
Hmm. I think I've jumped the gun with all the promos this week. None of them are available to pre-order yet and there aren't any YouTube or Soundcloud clips to embed. Hmm. I know, I'll tell the promo companies and artists that I'm just creating a buzz. By the time this influential blog post makes its way around the dance music global community, Kellen303, Acid Arab and Radio Hell will be all that anyone will be talking about. I'm a good blogger. This is definitely not a waste of my time.
Is it?
Hey readers, did you know that Radio Slave and DJ Hell have been knocking about with one another and making some dance tunes? No? Well, they are, and they've called themselves Radio Hell because Radio Slave is the Radio bit of Radio Hell and DJ Hell is the Hell bit of it. Geddit? It's a bit like when Hulk Hogan and Macho Man teamed up and called themselves the Mega Powers. No, it's not like that. It's more like when The Ultimate Warrior and Macho Man became the Ultimate Maniacs! Hmm, no, even that doesn't work properly. Sorry.
Anyway, I received a whispered email last week from Will Hofbauer (the Will Hofbauer) at Dispersion PR, whispering in hushed tones to whisper to me that Radio Slave and DJ Hell had finally made the time to meet up in Radio Slave's bedroom and make some music together. Whisper it, but I think these two songs they've written are breathtaking and they will probably be massive summer hits this year.
Will Hofbauer said it best when he screamed this at me down the telephone during our weekly team catch-up, "from the electro-influenced INTENSITY of Radio Hell to the melody infused techno of Lost Souls, This is Radio Hell is a release worthy of its creators' reputations as TWO of the most recognisable names in dance music over the past few DECADES and beyond. With both tracks clocking in at over 11 minutes, the release is EPIC in every sense of the word and is a fitting 200th release celebration for a label that has HOSTED some of the finest names in house and techno since its INCEPTION in 2006. RADIO EMBARGO! NO LISTED RADIO PLAYS BEFORE 8TH APRIL 2022"
Will Hofbauer there, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.
Like I said before, you can't pre-order this yet, I don't think, and you definitely can't play it on the radio for a while! Will made that loud and clear. I had a look on Niamh Ingram's Mixmag preview, too, and there was nothing there to steal either.
This is Radio Hell by Radio Hell is out on Rekids on 8 April 2022 and it gets an absolutely ginormous 10/10 on this blog.
Like I said before, you can't pre-order this yet, I don't think, and you definitely can't play it on the radio for a while! Will made that loud and clear. I had a look on Niamh Ingram's Mixmag preview, too, and there was nothing there to steal either.
This is Radio Hell by Radio Hell is out on Rekids on 8 April 2022 and it gets an absolutely ginormous 10/10 on this blog.
Keep clicking on the Rekids Bandcamp page until it appears: Rekids
Do the same on the Radio Slave Bandcamp page: Radio Slave
And DJ Hell's Bandcamp: DJ Hell
Follow Rekids on Twitter: @Rekids
Follow THE Will Hofbauer on Twitter: @WillHofbauer
Follow Niamh Ingram on Twitter: @N_iamIngram
And finally, this meme has been going around all the worldwide WhatsApp laddish banter groups. I've had it forwarded to me many times. I think it's gone viral. Pretty cool, eh?
So, next week, I'll be doing a hilarious dance music memes special! Maybe with a few dance lookalikes thrown in.
It gets me out of writing properly. LOL.
Email me here: BestPromos4Eva@gmail.com
Follow me on Twitter: @BestPromos4Eva
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