The nicest man in dance, Spencer Parker, might shave his head and wear Stone Island, but that doesn't mean he's going to smash you in the back with a snookerball tucked into a sock as you attempt to shelter your young son from a gang of thick, dirty, cowardly Wolves fans in 1998 after your team has stuffed the Dingles two nil. He is definitely not a Wolves fan because you can see from the promotional photograph below that he has all of his teeth, and he looks cheerful, bright-eyed and quick-witted. A Wolverhampton Wanderers fan wouldn't know what an espresso is if you sat them down and explained very slowly and very loudly what it is, with photographs, nursery illustrations and cartoon videos of Pixar-style wolves drinking one, with Mr Tumble doing Makaton in the corner of the screen. They only drink cans of Relentless and Kasztelan. They are all that thick and stupid, and if you ask me, they have no business living amongst us: vile, useless beasts...ugh. Stop it.
Sorry Wolves fans, no offence.
Speaking of Spencer Parker, I received an email from an industry bigwig the other day called Henry Mather (he sounds posh). He urged me to listen to a new song by Spencer Parker called yes bb and review it on THIS blog. To say I was chuffed would be a lie...I was actually proud as punch! I'm listening to it right now, and it's a "yes baby" from me.
yes bb is over six minutes long and has got a tired sounding woman saying, "yes baby", over and over again - but it doesn't even get boring. It's got one of those hi-hat patterns that if you just concentrate on the percussion elements of the song, makes it sound like a train chugging along the track - if you're unable to isolate the percussion in your head, you might need to shush the people around you, tilt your head to one side and look determined - maybe close your eyes, too. Failing all that: take some illegal drugs like magic mushrooms, ketamin or e.
It's also got a 1-bar pad thing that happens that sounds ominous - in a good way. If there's a bassline on yes bb, I couldn't hear it. I listened to it on a pair of Trust PC speakers that is only good for listening to LBC, but I bet the bassline is brilliant, though. I don't know what key it's in, or what the BPM is because I haven't analysed it in Serato Pro yet. Spencer, get in touch and we can discuss keys and BPMs one day over an espresso in Eastcote. Tag is a nice place.
Bizarrely, I caught up with Fred P over the telephone last night for a bit of a gossip. I asked him if he'd heard yes bb yet...
"...no way? So where is the chicken and where is the egg?! Do you know what I mean, Fred? Ha ha ha ha ha. Anyway, you must have heard yes bb by Spencer Parker by now...what do you think of it? Truthfully..."
"Dope."
"Thanks Fred."
So, I promised Lord Henry I'd review this track. Hmm, let me think. Yes. I'll grant yes bb by Spencer Parker a WHOPPING 10/10
yes bb by Spencer Parker is out on Work Them Records on Friday 11 March 2022
Pre-order it here: yes bb
Follow Spencer Parker on Twitter: @Spencer_Parker
Follow Work Them Records on Bandcamp: Work Them Records
I'm always banging on about Running Back on here, but you really can't go wrong with them. I bought the new Panoram song, Wandering Frames (Luca Lozano Remix), last night on Bandcamp. Read on to find out what I thought about it.
The first bit tricked me into thinking it was going to be a boring ambient track because it was just a pad and the odd clap, but then a kick drum appeared out of nowhere and knocked me sideways into the wall of my office at Best Promos HQ (Eastcote Division). After that, a tightly clipped hi-hat appeared out of nowhere and knocked me back into my seat before a weird sounding, loopy nonsensical vocal appeared out of nowhere and knocked me backwards onto the floor of my newly polished floor. What a track, but what I really needed was to get back up again, so thank God for the bleepy, monotone sounding top-line for rocking me back to my feet and making me shuffle about the office with a proper serious face on, almost pouting and voguing, pretending I was a Japanese podium dancer. And all of that is not to mention the bassline, which I can only describe as regular and deep. Woah, what a track!
And if you think that description is enough to make you spend €1.50 on that track alone, have a listen to the Soundcloud previews and the Quiet Village remix of Seabrain.
For some reason, I initially thought that Quiet Village remix was by Martin Denny (1911-2005), but it's not.
Why not buy Wandering Frames (Luca Lozano Remix) now and pre-order the rest of the release...now? That's what I did, and Running Back haven't even asked me to advertise any of this, I'm not on their promo list or anything. I'm doing it all off my own bat because I think they're fab.
I therefore award the Quiet Village + Luca Lozano Remixes for Panoram a more than satisfactory 10/10
The Panoram Remixes is out on Running Back on Friday 25 March 2022
I'm still reading The Secret DJ Book Two and The Secret DJ presents Tales From The Booth. To speed things up, I hold Book Two in my left hand and Tales From The Booth in my right, then I make myself go cross-eyed and read Book Two with my right eye and Tales From The Booth with my left. It's a fantastic system and it seems to work really well for me. I'm on chapter twelve on each book now and I'm loving the bits about how secretive The Secret DJ has to be in order to keep his identity a secret from the fans and other not-so-secret DJs.
And finally, it was Pancake Day here at Best Promos last night, so I treated my team to plates and plates of yummy pancakes. I had lemon and sugar on all of mine, the rest of the team enjoyed theirs with Nutella and sliced banana. We drank bucket loads of Vimto and listened to The Best of Chic followed by The Very Best of Chic. It was a real party atmosphere - you would have loved it! Hilariously, I had a go at tossing a pancake and almost dropped it on the floor. Thankfully, it stayed in the pan.
Get in touch with your funniest Pancake Day stories on the channels below...and keep them clean!
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