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| The Simpsons predicted Best Promos!!! LOL |
The managing director of Bandcamp, Ethan Diamond, emailed me the other day to let me know that Carlton Doom (real name, Carl Doom) has got a new song out called Gunge!, and that I could buy it for only £3 or more. I emailed back to see if there was a B-side and he came back straight away to say there was, and it's called Razorbrain. I couldn't believe it, so I clicked on the link and was taken straight away to Carlton Doom's Bandcamp page where I could not only buy it outright, but could listen to it before I did so! I couldn't believe it. 2023, eh?! Modern technology. I just couldn't believe it.
I checked my wallet, but I didn't have £3 on me, so I just pressed play on Gunge! and took a video of it on my phone. I emailed myself the video and then converted the .mp4 file to .mp3 using my Any Video Convertor software. I did the same with Razorbrain, and, hey presto!, I've saved myself £3. The sound quality isn't great, and Serato has had problems analysing them (it thinks the BPM is 7!), but I think it adds a grittiness to the recording that I think Carlton was looking for on it.
Now, that is a 10/10 release if ever I've heard one, so, with the power vested in me, I hereby proclaim Gunge! and Razorbrain by Carlton Doom is endowed with the maximum possible score out of ten for a dance music reviewing system on this website, Best Promos: 10/10
Carlton, Carl, whatever your name is, you should be very, very, extremely proud of yourself. To achieve a maximum score on here for a couple of songs that sound like you've lobbed all of your dance music instruments in a cement mixer and paid a couple of Scottish musclemen to smash them to pieces whilst the mixer is on and doing doughnuts in a car park, in the middle of a thunder storm, is no mean feat. It's a right racket, but we love it...and we love you, God damn it *proud face emoji with tear running down cheek*
Gunge! / Razorbrain is OUT NOW.
Buy it here: Gunge! / Razorbrain | Carlton Doom (bandcamp.com)
Follow Carlton Doom on Twitter and on Instagram
John Graham, better known as Quivver, and fellow collaborator Dave Seaman have careers spanning over decades in house music. Each has helped define the trajectory of the culture and continue to build on their stellar reputations. Oops! Sorry, I clicked copy and paste by mistake! My bad!
With this release on Steve Bug’s Poker Flat Recordings, the pair demonstrate some of the key traits that have marked their careers - beautifully crafted, euphoric electronic music designed for the dance floor. OMG - I'm so sorry, guys! I copied and pasted again! Ugh! Sorry.
Rockets & Rainbows features Brianna Price on vocals and is a deep, moody groover. RISE resident Floyd Lavine reworks the track also on this release, adding a bubbling, off-kilter acidic edge. Bloody hell. What is wrong with me today?! I keep copying and pasting! So sorry, forgive me.
Last up is Not This Time - a tough, funky roller with a juicy disco vocal sample. I give up on this one! I can't stop copying and pasting!!!! Forgive me, I'm so sorry about this. Sorry.
It's a fab release, though, and I know Steve Bug will be jumping for joy when he sees what score out of ten I'm about to give it...10/10!!! Well done, fellas. Keep up the good work.
Speaking of Steve Bug, I was listening to Märtini Brös earlier this week and I put the Poker Flat A-sides - Chapter One in my wish list today because of that Funk U Up! song. I might ask Father Christmas for it this Christmas! Wish me luck, readers!
Rockets & Rainbows is out on Friday 20 January 2023 on Poker Flat Recordings.
Pre-order Rockets & Rainbows here: Rockets & Rainbows | Poker Flat Recordings
Follow Poker Flat on Twitter and on Instagram
Follow Quivver on Twitter and on Instagram
Follow Dave Seaman on Twitter and on Instagram
The Maghreban, 44, has got a new song out featuring King Kashmere. Yes. I know. I can't believe it, either.
You might remember The Maghreban from last year's super summer smash hit super single, Waiting, with Avery Baker from EastEnders, and he followed it up with a r-r-r-r-r-really nice song called Treading Water a month or so ago. He's done loads of songs, actually. Have a look on his Bandcamp page and BUY THE LOT: Music | The Maghreban (bandcamp.com)
Yesterday, he brought out that song I was talking about two paragraphs ago, with King Kashmere, it's called M25, and let me tell you now, readers, it's a CORKER. I got in my blue Skoda Fabia last night and drove around the M25 with it on repeat, so I know all the words to it now. But it's not just the words that are great, the music is, too. If I had a gun to my head, I'd describe it as grime adjacent, low slung bass with a dash of lemon and lime. It's THAT good. Have a listen:
It's good, isn't it? And even if you don't think it's good, it's better than anything you could come up with, so I think I don't know, not sure what I'm going on about now. It is a good song, though, isn't it? Have a look at Avery Baker for a minute whilst I decide on a score out of ten...
...thank you. I've come to my decision, and it's final. M25 by The Maghreban featuring King Kashmere gets a WHOPPING 10/10 on Best Promos.
M25 by The Maghreban featuring King Kashmere is OUT NOW.
Buy it here: M25 (ft. King Kashmere) | The Maghreban
Follow The Maghreban on Twitter and on Instagram
Follow King Kashmere on Instagram
I thimk, I mean, I think I'm all reviewed out now, ladies and gentlemen.
What else have I been up to this week? The Apprentice is back on. Whilst getting worse with every series, it's still quite good, but I've seen an alarming uptick in the amount of female candidates with MASSIVE STICKY OUT lips. I won't body or mouth shame any of them individually on here, but watch it (BBC1, Thursday nights at 9pm or catch up on iPlayer) and you'll see what I mean.
EastEnders has been good this week, and all. I hope Zack hasn't got AIDS and I hope Phil can keep on the straight and narrow now after that nasty business with Keeble. Tommy needs a strong, positive male role model in his life. Phil: do the right thing and give up the gangster life. Choose Kat and Tommy. Choose family. Choose life.
We'll be back next week with MORE dance music reviews and MORE EastEnders thoughts and prayers.
Bye bye.
Email me: BestPromos4Eva@gmail.com
Tweet me: @BestPromos4Eva
Instagram me: /bestpromos4eva/
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