One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, rock. Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, rock. Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, rock. I want to rock. Around. The clock tonight, welllllllll it's that time of the week again where we take a departure from listening to dance music promos and have a look at the telly.
No, ears are not the only parts of my body that I use for consuming cultural components. I also use my eyes, and when I'm watching the telly I like to use my eyes and my ears at the same time. If I'm watching a documentary (Louis Theroux, for example) or the news (Riz Lateef on BBC London for example), I also use my brain. I find that using my brain whilst watching documentaries or the news really helps me to think about what I'm watching, and I sometimes form an opinion.
If I'm watching a broadcast by HRH Queen Elizabeth II or a party political broadcast by the Conservative Party, I use my legs, my arms, my groin, my eyes, my ears AND my brain to stand up, salute/put my hand on my heart, look, listen and think about what I'm being told by our blinged-up fruity figurehead and our leaders. In fact, I've just hung a massive Union Jack out of the front bedroom window of Best Promos HQ so that everyone who passes by can see how much we admire and respect HRH Queen Elizabeth II in this year of her massive Jubilee.
Hang on, I'll just ask Pottsy to take a picture of me with the flag...
Cheers Pottsy, now pull your bloody trousers up! LOL! Mad man.
Anyway, what have we been watching here at Best Promos lately?
There is only one episode of This Is Us left, which is a shame. This Is Us (Amazon Prime) is a bit like Defected Records. It's harmless, wholesome, full of characters who like to give big speeches and force their homespun wisdom on anyone who'll listen, and it's sometimes funny. The owner, Simon Dunmore, also looks a bit like Toby.
 |
| If you drink ten pints of lager and squint hard enough, these two people look alike |
Anyway, "hey bug", I'm hoping Rebecca can miraculously survive old age and Alzheimer's in the last two episodes and find love for a third time with a dozy new chap and live to see all of her grandkids grow up. Come on, American writers, give us the happy ending we deserve!
Speaking of Defected, they've got a new song out this week. Have a listen:
It's nice, isn't it? I like it. It feels like a fluffy warm, rabbit-skin blanket when you compare it to the stuff coming out on the record label that I compare to Villanelle and The 12 off of Killing Eve later on in this post.
Spotlight (Sam Divine Extended Remix) by S.A.M. featuring Sarah Ikumu is out on Friday 20 May 2022, and it's a r-r-r-r-really great song. The vocals are all about being in a maximum security prison, so it's got a bit of an edge, but I don't reckon the singer really is in the house of many doors...do you? It's the kind of song Andy Daniell at FFFFFFFRRR might listen to whilst ironing his collection of cargo trousers.
On a Sunday night.
Whish is no bad thing at all.
Spotlight (Sam Divine Extended Remix) by S.A.M. featuring Sarah Ikumu is grrrrrrrrrrilliant, and it gets a very respectable 10/10 from everyone here at Best Promos.
Buy it here: Spotlight (Sam Divine Extended Remix)
Follow Sam Divine on Twitter: @samdivine
Follow Defected on Twitter: @DefectedRecords
Follow Andy Daniell on Twitter: @andydaniell
I'm currently halfway through the last series of Killing Eve (BBC iPlayer) I think I watched episode 5 last night. Villanelle got shot in the back by a bow and arrow, and I think she's definitely dead now. I reckon the last few episodes will follow Eve through the grieving process and wrap up with Carolyn inviting Eve into The 12 and getting her to murder Hélène as an initiation whilst Konstantin kills Pam in the same room for pushing him in the water a few episodes before. The killings take place in the same room because The 12 have their own killing building in Germany where they carry out killings of their own as the initiation ceremony to make way for new members (like Eve). I like to think that in an imaginary future series of Killing Eve, some new people will kill Carolyn, Konstantin and Eve in the same room for their own initiation into The 12 and the cycle of killings will continue to roll on. Maybe the dead members of The 12 end up like ghostly Cenobites and murder each other in Hell in a similar cycle of netherworld killings.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge, if you're reading...please don't steal my ideas!!!! LOL.
My version of events in Killing Eve is very dark. What's also very dark is the new album by Scottish dance pop stars in the making, Bless This Machine. Synthetics is the name of the album, and it's all a bit spooky. I don't know what kind of machine they're trying to bless, but if they want something blessing they need to be a bit more positive in their outlook. Whenever a priest blesses someone, they don't do it to moody electronic soundscapes, they do it to a nice hymn.
And speaking of Cenobites, the bloke on the cover of their album looks a bit like Frank from Hellraiser after he'd been skinned alive in the attic by that creepy looking piece of crumpet.
Synthetics by Bless This Machine is a tour de force in uplifting electronic soundscapes. I say uplifting because I said "moody" earlier before I'd even listened to it, but now that I have listened to the album in full I've changed my mind a bit. I say "a bit" because it's still moody in places, like a lot of their previous releases, I think, but it's also got some electro-type stuff happening in places that made me smile, rather than frown. The track, 17:44, for example, sounds like the music to a lovely kiddlywink's lullaby being played on a Funktion-One soundsystem in a cold, German forest at the height of summer. The forest that Lalo Salamanca ends up in during the latest episode of Better Call Saul. And it made me smile.
Low Battery sounds like the music to an unused bit on Brass Eye, in a good way. That made me smile, too.
Overall, most of the tracks on Synthetics have some beats on them that are guaranteed to make you smile. They're either electro beats or muffled drum and bass patterns, so you shouldn't get bored. It's NOT a full on ambient, droney sound effects album. Don't worry. It's worth buying.
In fact, I'm in a good mood because of all that smiling and I'm going to cheerfully award Synthetics by Bless This Machine a happy 10/10 !
Synthetics is out on Friday 27 May 2022
Buy it on their Bandcamp page: blessthismachine.bandcamp
Follow Bless This Machine on Twitter: @bless_machine
Better Call Saul (Netflix) is good at the moment, isn't it, readers? The only thing I hate about it is the way that little girl calls Mike "pop pop". I hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhate it when she does that. I wish they'd kill her off, but of course we know they don't. Oh well. I sometimes wonder who would win in a fight: The 12 or one of those Mexican drug cartels in the Breaking Bad universe.
I think The 12 would, but I don't know why.
Get in touch on the socials to tell us who you think would win. Let's get that conversation started, guys. We can also wonder who would win in a fight between Villanelle and Gus Fing. Hmm. Tough one. I think Villanelle would kill Gus in an amusing way whilst pulling some funny faces. Maybe by force-feeding a whole fried chicken up his jacksy until he dies and then stabbing him through the windpipe with a Rambo knife before blowing his brains out with a chain gun for good measure. No Half Measures.
The next bit of dance music I'm going to review is the new Carlton Doom (real name, Carl Doom) EP on Hypercolour, but I think I'm stretching it thin to try and compare it to Better Call Saul or any of the characters in Better Call Saul. The Down In Red Light EP by Carlton Doom is brilliant, like Better Call Saul, and a bit scary sometimes, like Better Call Saul, but it's not funny, like Better Call Saul. The only thing funny about this EP is the name of the second track on it; Flutin Tootin Dopeboy. LOL. So, maybe they're not so darn well different after all...
Wolf Whistle is a funny name for a track, too, although I dread to think what the loony left woke brigade on Twitter will have to say about it because, rightly or wrongly, you're not allowed to wolf whistle pretty ladies anymore. I found that out to my cost whilst dropping off the kids at school a couple of months ago. A son should never have to suffer the embarrassment of watching his father getting laced into by a lollipop lady. Ever. Wolf Whistle is a fab track, though. Proper heads down mental. The Reger Remix of it is a bit more laid back, but it'll still get you skanking around your living room.
And with that in mind, I'm going to score Carlton Doom's new EP a brave 10/10 for being brave enough to stand up to the social media snowflakes and bedwetters with his choice of song titles. Cheers, Carlton. We salute you.
A big thanks and a big up (do trendy people still say that?) to HYPE Filter for sending me this EP. They've been sending me too many weird ambient things lately, so these Carlton Doom bangers are a breath of fresh air. It's right up my street.
Pre-order it here: Down In Red Light EP
Follow Carlton Doom on Twitter: @CarltonDoom
Follow Hypercolour on Twitter: @hypercolour
What a great post. Thank you all for reading. Don't forget to send me YOUR best Promos. Goodbye.
Email me: BestPromos4Eva@gmail.com
Tweet me: @BestPromos4Eva
Instagram me: /bestpromos4eva/
No comments:
Post a Comment