Wednesday, May 25, 2022

This Is The Best UK Dance Blog In The World: Part XIV


I never had N-Trance down as police informers, but my very dear and very old friend, the self-styled Mad Professor of UK 2-step Garage and UK Grime, Ian "UK Grime" McQuaid whispered in my electronic ear last week and pointed me in the digital direction of some online evidence of 90s dance pop superstar snitching in Wilmslow.

As you can see from the Tweet below, I am one of nine people who Liked what they did. Shoplifting is not on, and I don't care how Northern, Scouse or Manc you are, it's just not on. The majority of people commenting on their tattle-tale ways haven't taken it seriously and make the obvious "Set You Free" joke, which admittidly, I mean, admittedly, is hilarious, but I don't see the need to repeat it on this organ.

Shoplifting hurts British business.

#SupportOurSainsburys #WeStandWithNTrance #ACAB

Proof of 90s dance music tell tale tits

Speaking of crimes, and theft, Ian "UK Underground Bashment Scene" McQuaid NICKED my early-00s hard house mixtape from the Ran$om Note headquarters during the summer of 2015. It must have been near 7:30pm. He promised me I'd get it back, but I am alas ("but Vic, you have no knockers...")...I am alas, still without the best hard house mix tape I ever made.

This crime reference number is still live with the Met Police, and everyone here at Best Promos WILL get justice.

Juuuuuuuustice.

I need cheering up now. My blood is literally boiling.

Let's check my emails for any dance music promos.

Hmm. An email from someone called Genevieve. She sounds posh. Let's have a read...

Intentional pixels

...hmm, interesting. Genevieve is writing to inform me of a fab new EP by a chap in Copenhagen called Prom Night. That's not his real name. Prom Night's real name is Shaquille Beck McGosh.

That's a much better name than Prom Night. He should have used that instead!

Anyway, Shaq, I mean, Prom Night, has got a new EP he's worked on with Brynjolfur Heygum (I don't know if that's his real name) called BDYBASIC (real name, BODY BASIC) and let me tell you now, it's GRRRRRRRRILLIANT.

I can't find any previews of either of the two tracks on BDYBASIC online anywhere, so have a listen to one of the songs he released last month and you'll get an idea of the kind of stuff he makes:

It's good, isn't it? I can imagine slowly rolling from one foot to another on the dance floor, looking up to the ceiling and smiling a lot. I bet Todd Terje and Prins Thomas would play this. Gerd Janson would play it early doors. It'd get played at Secretsundaze. It wouldn't get played by Perc, Bleaching Agent or Truss. It would get played by Dixon, Craig Richards and Move D (pronounced, "Moved". It wouldn't get played by Modeselektor, Manni Dee or Surgeon. It would get played by me in my imaginary Ruislip nightclub in my head (No Requests). It wouldn't get played at Sundissential, Tresor or House of God.

So, with all of that in mind, what does BDYBASIC sound like???

Oh, hang on. I've just realised that Freakfunk IS on the BDYBASIC EP. Sorry, Genevieve.

So, with all of that in mind, what does BDYBASIC sound like???

Well, BDYBSC (the title track, not the name of the EP) has some lovely congas at the beginning to get you in the mood for some conga-based percussion before some jolly, Carribean-sounding keys plop on top of it to get you in the mood for some sorry, this is a rubbish review. It's brilliant music, but I'm not doing it justice.

Juuuuuuuustice.

BDYBSC is what I'd call tropical house. Ally McTropical will probably play it during his tropical house set at Watching Trees in September whilst Kieran and his brother, Tom, prepare for their set by digging in their pockets for CONTENT REMOVED BY BEST PROMOS LAWYERS and laughing their heads off whilst jogging on the spot like they're desperate for a wee.

I'm not sure if there is a pre-order link or anything for this EP, either, but if you keep refreshing Prom Night's Bandcamp page over and over and over again, I'm sure it'll appear for sale at some point.

BDYBASIC is properly fab and after much deliberation, all of us here at Best Promos agree that anything less than a tropical 10/10 would be a MASSIVE miscarriage of justice.

Juuuuuuuustice.

BDYBASIC is out on Friday 10 June 2022 on Prom Night Records.

Buy Prom Night music on the Bandcamp pagepromnightmp3.bandcamp
Follow Prom Night on Instagram/promnight.mp3/
And the record label/promnightrecords/

Ps. Have a listen to this Ran$om Note mix by Prom Night and then go to Watching Trees to see how many tracks Ally McTropical has Shazammed off of it...LOL! Only joshing, guys!

Tresor now.

Tresor. Nightclub royalty. Like Real Madrid, AC Milan, West Bromwich Albion and Bayern Munich in football. Tresor sits in that very elite name of (night) clubs that combine contemporary quality, longevity, respect, a global fanbase and a history only enjoyed and understood by their peers: Ministry of Sound, fabric, Geo Bar, that German one with the celebrity bouncer who won't let anyone in, House of God, Atomic Jam, The Social, Heaven, Sundissential, Bugged Out!, Circo Loco, Foreign Muck, Torture Garden and I Love Acid.

Hmm, quite a bit of nightclub royalty there. Hope I haven't diluted the superior bloodstream.

What I'm trying to say is that there is a new EP coming out in July on Tresor by Gerald "Brunson" Brunson, and it's exactly the kind of music that Posthuman would play at one of his regal I Love Acid parties in and around the Commonwealth. Lots of acid noises on it. The name of the EP is Hug Your Friends, and I can really identify with that message because I have lots of friends here at Best Promos and I've actually written a policy document (approved by our People Services) that outlines the importance and the need to hug the editor (me) at the beginning and end of each working day. No hug, no pay.

It's the private sector, we can get away with all sorts here, so if any budding young or old women, I mean, people, want to come and no...I'm not carrying on with that bit, sorry. This is a dance music blog.

Hug Your Friends by Brunson is fab. All of the tracks on it are ace, but Hoffman's S.O.S. is probably the most accessible. It's the one that you could play to the missus and she wouldn't be as upset as she would be if you played her Morf. Morf is the one you'd probably need to be wide awake, hugging your friends, at 5am for it to make sense.

The press release talks a lot about "acid melodies", "mutant funk" and "effective rhythmic structures", which are all very nice words (except: "The synths move squeakily as if the machine got jammed into enlightenment." LOL! Whoever wrote that has something missing.), but to be honest, Hug Your Friends is just extremely good banging acid and techno. All the right people will play it at all the right places and you'll have a brilliant time dancing to it with your pals, and that's what it's all about, isn't it, readers?

I grant this EP a WHOPPING and "effective" 10/10

Hug Your Friends by Brunson is out on Tresor on Friday 8 July 2022

Pre-order it hereHug Your Friends
Follow Tresor on Twitter@TresorBerlin
Follow Dance Sacred (I think that's Brunson) on Instagram/dance_sacred_records_/


Speaking of UK dance music festivals in the woods, Ran$om Note and Optimo have got a new one coming up in September. It's called Watching Treesand if you think it's a festival where you just go to look at some trees for three days, then you can LOOK again! LOL.

No, Watching Trees is all about going into some UK woods and listening to loads of DJs play repetitive music until God knows what time in the morning and at volumes that would strip paint. It's the wildlife I feel sorry for. Not really. I don't care about the wildlife, I only care about sharing the link to this festival and encouraging people to go to it because I'm passionate about punters going to a wood with their mates and dancing for a few days to the sounds of Ivan Smagghe, Ally McTropical, Optimo, Kieran and Tom, Joy Orbison, Ellie Stokes, Scratchclart and much, much, many more.

It looks great. They've got a website for it that looks a bit rubbish and really good at the same time (I think it's the fashion these days for websites and stuff online to look like they're really old and retro), it's near Bristol so the weather should be alright (I think), there'll be food there so no need to bring a packed lunch and the friendly, long-haired layabout house music history buff, Aiden, will be running a vinyl hut where you can enter it to talk with him and buy records off of him, and tickets for the festival are only £139.00!

£139 is nothing these days. It's the price of a round of drinks in Notting Hill. LOL.

I can't say for certain, but I reckon Watching Trees, for Ivan Smagghe alone, will score a 10/10 by me in the September issue of Best Promos.

Watching Trees is on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th of September 2022 in a Gloucestershire wood.

Buy tickets herewatching-trees-txts
Follow Ran$om Note on Twitter@ransomnoted
Follow Ran$om Note on Instagram/thisisransomnote/
Follow Aiden on Twitter@Aiden_dAraujo
Follow Ivan Smagghe on Instagram: /ivan_smggh_jmm/


Today's post was dedicated to the memories of Howard Hamlin and Rebecca Pearson. And Nacho.

"You may be gone from sight but you are never gone from our hearts. May the winds of Heaven blow softly and whisper in your ear."

Rest in Heavenly Peace.

Please stand for our final hymn...

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