I was flicking through my girlfriend's copy of Fiesta this morning and it reminded me that not only is Best Promos a clean publication, but it is also a legible and coherent one at that, if I may say so myself. Children can read/look at Best Promos. They can't read/look at Fiesta. Indeed, I'm told by my marketing team that many Year 9-11 kids are now reading Best Promos, printing it off, ripping it up and leaving the torn up pages in hedgerows for Year 7 and 8 kids to find and share.
I think the kids like Best Promos because we're a bit cheeky and irreverent. We don't try and be cool. We don't pretend that we know what we're talking about. We're a blog for the everyman dance fan.
Or woman. Women can be dance fans, too, you know.
They can!
Anyway, speaking of men in dance; Scuba has got a new green record out, and I don't mean green in the Greta Thunberg sense. Everyone knows that when it comes to saving the planet, MP3s are the way forward. God knows how much plastic Scuba has burned up and melted to make this release, but who cares? Greta Thunberg, probably, and that lot. Not me.
Scuba got his DJ name from his keen interest in scuba diving, and in this new release we see him plumbing new depths of dance music depravity. No, not depravity. Plumbing new depths of dance music...erm. Hang on. Scuba got his DJ name from his keen interest in scuba diving, and in this new release we see him plumbing new depths of. Hmm. I'm stuck. Sorry. Have a listen to it and I'll try and come up with a better way of describing it. It's green and it's called Hardcore Heaven. Look and listen:
It's good, isn't it? Scuba got his DJ name from his keen interest in scuba diving, and in this new release we see him plumbing new depths of dance music delirium. Hardcore Heaven is probably the best thing he's ever done. It's six tracks of heavenly hardcore music that will make you think you're 21-years old again, raving with your pals at a Club Kinetic M25 warehouse party if you suffer from a psychiatric disorder such as major depressive disorder, bipolar disease or schizophrenia. It's a fantastic release AND it's all for Record Store Day.
I don't fully understand what happens on Record Store Day, but I like Phonica Records, so buy it from there. I don't know if the bloke who looks like MCA out of the Beastie Boys still works at Phonica, but I bet it's still a good shop.
Hardcore Heaven by Scuba is on a limited vinyl only run so get in quick, and if you need a metaphorical gun to your head to make your mind up, I'm giving it a very special 10/10. Not 9, not 8, a 10
Buy it now: SCUBA/Hardcore Heaven (RSD 2023)
Follow Scuba on Twitter and on Instagram
Follow Phonica Records on Instagram
I've got a new dance music alias, readers. I am now going by the name of Elvis Minogue. I just need to create a Bandcamp page and come up with a genre of music to make on Ableton with it now. I'll probably do some dowdy Sandwell District-type sparse techno. Maybe I can get a gig at Berghain with it. Elvis Minogue is the type of mysterious alias that I can see being on the line-up there, especially with the artwork I've knocked up for it (see above).
For the graphic design nerds out there, I've used the MS Gothic font at size 32 and that paintbrush icon for the black and pink bits.
They also do the Decius thing with the bloke out of Paranoid London and an Insecure Man.
Hang on a minute, I do know about cool stuff and I do know what I'm talking about! Ignore what I said at the beginning of today's post because I actually am cool! LOL.
Medicine8 have been making r-r-r-r-r-r-r-really good dance music for decades, and they're now re-re-re-re-re-releasing some tunes they made decades ago. I reached out in my imagination to Luke and Liam for an interview, and they declined in my head, so I asked Funky_Dung on Discogs for a comment instead. He phoned me back straight away and barked this down the receiver...
"These guys make music that is absolutely, 100% CORRECT! Chunky as your mum, properly stompy danceable, and hooky and catchily fun at the same time. 'Iron Stylings' is/was my pick for album of 2002 - non-stop acid house up yer arse! Turned out 'Even The Beetles The Monkeys' was a tune I'd heard Jon Carter play in 2000 and had been trying to find for two years. Love it all!"
I couldn't have said it better myself, and I can attribute all of the same words from Funky_Dung to this new re-release. Have a listen:
You could play that one in a set with one of Scuba's new songs, couldn't you? It's a couple of two track EPs, and after listening to them both about nine times, I've come to the conclusion that they are worth a Best Promos score of 10/10! Congrats, guys.
Buy them on here: EP 1 (Big Dick In The Room/Love Of Tainted Acid) | Medicine 8
And on here: EP 2 (Put Your Scenes Together/Bone Of Her Hand) | Medicine 8
The last thing I want to plug today is Lady Passion at The Social. If you know, you know. Get down there. She's ace.
It will be a solid 10/10...TRUS' ME.
Buy tickets here: The Social Stuff
Follow Lady Passion on Instagram
Follow Toshiki Ohta on Instagram
Follow The Social on Twitter and on Instagram
I think that's all we've got time for tonight. Join us next week when we'll be microtometercandyhell.
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