Cowin' ada! What a week it's been, readers. I've had so much going on in Ruislip that to to to to to to to to to to I don't know how to finish this sentence, sorry. Let's get on with the hsow, I mean, show.
Word is finally getting out that I review dance music on the Internet, and I've got a scary story to tell you about it...keep reading...please keep reading...
When my mobile telephone rang the other day and I answered it, I didn’t know who to expect. When the person on the other end of the phone muffled his or her words through a vocoded sock and told me to, “listen, right”, I was shocked and scared. When they then proceeded to tell me to plug a new song by Radio Slave, I stuttered and stammered a panicky response of, “or WHAT?!” I was met with a baleful laugh and the sound of my dad in the background, tearfully pleading with an unnamed goon to stop knee-capping his knees. I said, meekly, “Ok, mate. I get it. What’s the deal then? How do I make this stop? Who is this Radio Slave?” Three seconds of hush. “No plug, no knees for daddy”, came the cruel comeback. “Ok”, I replied, “but who is Radio Slave?”
This question made whoever it was on the other end of the phone angry because I could literally hear the steam coming out of his or her ears as they roared, “WHO IS RADIO SLAVE?! Radio Slave aka Matt Edwards is one of dance music’s undisputed heavyweights. Having made his name as a DJ in the 90s, he went on to become the king of edits, twisting pop, R&B and indie cuts into essential versions that consistently set clubs alight. Since the mid-2000s, Edwards’ originals have helped define modern dance music, tackling techno, house, breakbeat, minimal and disco whilst exploring dub, Balearic sounds and ambient across the myriad of other aliases and projects. That’s who Radio fucking Slave is, so if you don’t want your dad’s knees to end up on the end of my girlfriend’s lump hammer, you’ll make a small mention of him in this week’s Best Promos. Understood?”
After mumbling, “yes ma'am”, I slammed down the receiver on my Nokia 100 by forcefully pressing the red button and curled up into a little ball in front of everyone in The Codfather and continued to eat my chips.
Actually, he looks a bit spooky in that POBLA picture, but in the other three, he looks like a right laugh. I'd love to have a drink with Steve Bug. And for that reason, more than any other, I think you should buy this new release by him. It doesn't come out until the 28 April, but you can pre-order it, and if I had a gun to my head, I'd award Alto Adige by Steve Bug a MASSIVE 10/10
After mumbling, “yes ma'am”, I slammed down the receiver on my Nokia 100 by forcefully pressing the red button and curled up into a little ball in front of everyone in The Codfather and continued to eat my chips.
Have a listen to this song and save my dad's knees:
Mr. Slave, this is a 10/10 release, so please call off your goons.
Buy the whole EP to raise awareness of Radio Slave:
Buy it here: radioslave/wild-life
Follow Radio Slave on Twitter and on Instagram
Follow Will 'Lump Hammer' Hofbauer on Twitter and on Instagram
That was a scary story, wasn't it readers? I'm a bit frightened now. Let's be brave and have a listen to something else. Something pleasant, yet groovy:
That's cheered me up, and I hope it's put the youngsters who read Best Promos at ease after that Radio Slave story.
Steve Bug has got a creepy crawly name, but a really jolly face. Look:
Actually, he looks a bit spooky in that POBLA picture, but in the other three, he looks like a right laugh. I'd love to have a drink with Steve Bug. And for that reason, more than any other, I think you should buy this new release by him. It doesn't come out until the 28 April, but you can pre-order it, and if I had a gun to my head, I'd award Alto Adige by Steve Bug a MASSIVE 10/10
Pre-order it here: Alto Adige | Steve Bug
Follow Steve Bug on Twitter and on Instagram
Follow Poker Flat on Twitter and on Instagram
Speaking of Will Hofbauer, I was going to write something about his Third Place night at Spanners, but I've just seen that the event has already happened! LOL. I'd forget my head if it wasn't sewn on, I'm tellin' ya! It looked good though, and Spanners is supposed to be a sound place. I'll try and get to the next one. Look:
They have got some new songs coming out on the 28 April, though. Unbelievably, DJML & Jerod S. Rivera have formed a new super-group called Later Version, and Third Place are kindly releasing their debut EP, Swim Domain. Lets have a listen:
Bit moody, that first one! "Don don don don donnnn." I like it, though. Chelating Ligand sounds like the kind of music you'd hear on an underground cave level on Super Mario Bros. 1, 2 or 3 - in a good way. "Don don don don donnnn."
Swim Domain is good, too, but my only issue with it is that there's no steady beat. I listened to it after double-dropping a couple of Garys, but I couldn't find my groove and had to put Miss Moneypenny's Glamorous One on. Still, it's a fantastic track.
Effigy Tumuli is another side-scrolling type level soundtrack, but this time it's for a more sophisticated game. Maybe listen to this whilst playing The Legend of Zelda. I know it's not side-scrolling, but it still works. I think.
On the next song, Aguahoja, we find Later Version getting all mystical, man. Close your eyes, open your third eye and massage your chakras as DJML & Jerod S. Rivera play with their echo machine whilst bashing bits of wood together in that little forest area of Princess Diana's Playground.
The last track is a remix of the second track, and let me tell you, it's Grrrrrrrrrilliant! Doc Sleep's remix of Swim Domain flips the script and makes you turn off Miss Moneypenny's Glamorous One and gets you back dancing to Swim Domain because she's made it more dancey. Doc has used a rim shot instead of a kick drum on the 1234, but it's still good. Amy Winehouse did the same thing on Know You Now and that's one of her best songs.
So, in summary, yes. Swim Domain EP by Later Version is a terrific release and Third Place is a record label of great standing now. Swim Domain EP by Later Version gets a WHOPPING 10/10 from us all here at Best Promos. Well done, all.
Pre-order it here: Later Version - Swim Domain EP
Follow DJML on Instagram
Follow Jerod S. Rivera on Twitter and on Instagram
Follow Doc Sleep on Instagram
Follow Third Place on Instagram
What else have I done this week? Oh! I canned the Prophet Muhammad is a DJ parody track I’ve recently completed on Ableton. I was going to showcase that on Best Promos at the end of the week, but I’ve properly bottled it. I'll just do another minimal hard house track with Gazza saying, "come on", throughout it again and send it to Man Power. Maybe he'll play it at Pikes?
Anyway, enough about me. What have YOU been up to this week? Get in touch on the means below and I'll pick out the funniest responses out of a goldfish bowl and put them up on next week's blog.
I think that's it for this week. Bye.
Email me: BestPromos4Eva@gmail.com
Tweet me: @BestPromos4Eva
Instagram me: /bestpromos4eva/
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