Friday, December 23, 2022

CRACKER

(Please read all of this in a Brian Blessed voice)

HO HO HO! Merry Christmas, everyone! Jolly old Saint Nick here, Santa Claus. I've slithered down the Best Promos HQ chimney early to deliver the editor his presents before the weekend. Viewing figures for blog posts at the weekend are notoriously low, even for sites like Resident Advisor and Ran$om Note, so Rudolph and I have whipped our elves into knocking up a few Hilarious Lookalikes to keep the Best Promos content container topped up before the Christmas Holidays.

Remember, if you don't enjoy today's post, it's not the fault of Best Promos, it's the elves in Lapland, or the North Pole, who created it. Blame them.

HO HO HO!

Have you ever seen Dave Gahan in the same scene as Nasty Nick in EastEnders? No? Neither have we! I wonder if it's because they're the same person?! HO HO HO!


HO! HO! HO! I say, I say, I say, every morning in December I seem to be finding DJ Allister Whitehead in different places around my house. One morning, he's sat on the kitchen work surface surrounded by sugar and chocolate buttons, the next he's hanging from the fairy lights on the Christmas tree, but I'm told that if I touch him, the magic will wear off and he won't come back the following day! HO HO HO!!!!


HO HO HO! I've always thought that Andrew Weatherall looks a bit like Santa Claus in this picture, especially if you drink ten pints of Kronenbourg 1664, take off your glasses and squint. HO HO HO!!!


HO HO HO!!! This is a bad one, sorry. Remember to blame the elves, NOT Best Promos...HOOOOO HOOOOO HOOOOO!


HO HO HO! That last Hilarious Lookalike was so awful, that it's knocked the collective confidence of all of my elves, so I'll finish the post for them with a couple of jokes I've found on the Google website. HO HO HO!!!

I say, I say, I say, what do you call a DJ without a girlfriend at Christmas?

Homeless at Christmas! HO HO HO!!!

No, I don't get that one either. HO HO HO!!! Why is the DJ from India very popular at Christmas?
Because he CONTENT REMOVED BY THE BEST PROMOS TASTE AND DECENCY LEGAL TEAM

HO HO HO! I can hear the editor of Best Promos stirring from his slumber, so I'd better crawl back up the chimney and get myself ready for Saturday night...that's Christmas Eve, don't you know! HO HO HO!!! Hmm, I've just found this Excel spreadsheet printed off on the floor. I'll just stick it back up on the mantlepiece.


Don't forget to be good, readers. I'll be watching you all sleep. HO HO HO!! Away Rudolph, away Blitzen, away the others! HO HO HO...MERRRRRRRRRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

Email me: BestPromos4Eva@gmail.com
Tweet me@BestPromos4Eva
Instagram me/bestpromos4eva/


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