I ran a poll on Twitter yesterday, like Elon Musk did for Trump. It was to see if the team here at Best Promos should continue with the blog or wind it in. It was, essentially, a make or break situation for the team here in Ruislip. Viewing figures for the blog peaked with the Man Power interview, but fell back down to terminal levels with the following post about Daniel Avery's new album.
If people vote on Twitter for us to jack it in, all of my staff will be made redundant a few weeks before Christmas, if everyone votes for Best Promos to pointlessly march on then at least we won't have any Tiny Tim scenarios in Eastcote this year, but I can't make any promises that we will continue past Easter 2023. Maybe we could do a restructure? Food for thought.
Anyway, there is still time to vote, but it's looking like Best Promos will continue for the time being.
Today, instead of reviewing some music, I'm going to go all Alfie Moon and try and sell you some moody DJ gear I got off knock off Nigel in Walford last week. Do you watch EastEnders? It's brilliant at the moment, and it's gearing up for an explosive Christmas. One of my favourite things is watching the extras in the background every time Alfie is doing one of his big shouty speeches down the market, or in the Vic or in Kathy's Café; they're all nodding and laughing, a bit of eye rolling here and there like they all know he's talking crap, but they still absolutely love him.
ROLL UP, ROLL UP, etc.
The DJ Sneak USA Dance Slipmat
You know that DJ Sneak has got a perfectly round head, right, well, I've only gone and stuck a picture of his head on a boat load of high quality 12" professional grade slipmats from the former Yugoslavia! They're ideal for scratch DJs and turntablists. The DJ Sneak slipmat provides durability and will not scuff or damage vinyl, even in cold weather! House Gangsters across the USA can't get enough of these things! YA FEEL ME?!
The DJ Sneak USA Dance Slipmat is ONLY available in my imaginary market stall in Eastcote for ONLY £12.99!
Jacques Lu Cont "Shh" Party Drug Bags
Ok, ok, that doesn't float your flaps, how about some drugs? We all like a bit of drugs on the dance floor, don't we? So, how's about a multi-pack of DJ-branded party drug bags?! They're ideal for stashing your favourite uppers, downers, in-the-middlers, whatever you fancy, and the best part is: you'll never get caught!
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, get yer original (not one of the many bootleg copies) Jacques Lu Cont "Shh" Party Drug Bags for nightclub and pub use. They're Grrrrrrilliant, and at only £6.99 per bag of fifty, there's literally no excuse for you and your mates going out without some party drugs*! YOWZERS!
*party drugs not included.
Don't do drugs, no? You should give them a go, well, anyway, they're not for everyone, RIGHT, I know the perfect thing for you...get a load of these. They're bona fide, totally legit Miss Kittin and The Hacker goalie gloves! Perfick for the cold, winter months ahead AND they're stylish AND they're on-brand with the World Cup!
I've wanted to work with Miss Kittin and The Hacker for many years, so to now have them endorse the Official Best Promos #OneLove World Cup Fashion Goalie Gloves has been the icing on the cake of my life. Miss Kittin left me a voicemail the other night in support of the gloves:
"Best Promos is so nice. I am laying on my own private beach. Sipping ice cold ice cream champagne. My butler is so nice. More ice now. Ice is so nice. Where is my limousine? It must be so cold in Eastcote right now. He he he he ha ha ha..."
#FeelingBlessed
Help to tackle worldwide racism, sexism and defeat human rights the RIGHT way, plus they're an absolute STEAL to boot! Only £14.99 per glove!
Get them while you still can! WOAH YEAH!
The Best Promos Book 2023
Remember The Beano when you were a kid? And The Dandy? Do you remember them? We all do, don't we? Well, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, can you IMAGINE if there was a Beano annual, but it said 'Best Promos 2023' instead of the title and it's got Dave Clarke DJing on the cover, but inside, it was simply the 1990 Beano Annual?! LOL. Can you imagine that?! Well, imagine no more, people because we've only got a shipment here of actual hooky Beanos for ONLY a pony! No, that's too much to charge for a book. Ok, I'm going to cut my own arm off here...£8.99 a book. Can't say fairer than that, can we? CAAAAMMM ON!
All-Over Union Jack Paul Oakenfold Print Bomber Jacket
Ok. I've just been told the pigs are on their way, so we'd better scarper soon, but we've got time for just one last piece of kit, and let me tell you NOW, it's a beauty! Add a little zing to your wardrobe with this vibrant All-Over Union Jack Paul Oakenfold Print Bomber Jacket. Wear it on a basic t-shirt, or layer it on top of a warm hoodie - it’ll look great either way. With a brushed fleece inside, and a relaxed unisex fit, this Bomber Jacket is just the stuff of the dreams, so be quick to grab yourself one!
• 100% polyester
• Brushed fleece fabric inside
• Unisex fit
• Overlock seams
• Sturdy neck tape
• Silver YKK zipper
• 2 self-fabric pockets
silkroad.not-piratebay.org/pauloakenfold/union-jack-bomber
Above is the dark web link. Get it before it gets taken down by the ICT security team in charge of moody gear on the Internet. £57.00, though, that really is a bargain. It's a gorgeous garment, you'll be bound to pull a tasty bit of treacle or a hunky geezer down Peggy's, whatever takes your fancy. Bugger. Here come the bobbies! Right, gotta go! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I'll be back by popular demand next week because that vote on Twitter is looking so conclusive, and I'll be coming back with an interview with Man2.0, then one with Crozier, then one with Galaxy Brain, then one with Paul Oakenfold.
Until then...
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