Welcome to the long-awaited review of Ultra Truth by Daniel "Drone Logic" Avery on Erol Alkan's Phantasy Sound record label. It's been out for almost a month now and everywhere I go in Ruislip, people stop me on the streets and ask me when the Best Promos review of it is going to drop. I've been getting sick of it, to be honest, so I'm dragging myself away from the football today (it's only Wales) to knock this post out - "oo-er, missus!" LOL.
I was in the butcher shop on Ruislip Manor, The Manor Butchery, last week and the butcher asked me what I thought of Ultra Truth. I said, "it starts off a bit weird, doesn't it?", and he said, "what do you mean?", and I go, "well, that New Faith song is all distorted and fuzzy, and at the end there's a woman talking all breathy, like, do you know what I mean?", and he goes, "yes, I suppose you're right. Here's your eight pounds of lamb chops and chopped liver and chopped onions with all the trimmings." "Ta'ra", I replied.
That was the start of the review. I was going to carry on like that and pretend that I'd had conversations with lots of tradespeople in and around Ruislip and Eastcote about Daniel Avery and Ultra Truth, but that would get boring quickly, so I'll just do a normal review now.
Before I go on, though, Daniel, if you're reading this; get a haircut and smile a bit more in your photos. I really think that you'd be more popular if you stopped looking so moody. We're in a Cost of Living Crisis and a Credit Crunch, and your fans want to be cheered up. Do a Christmas photoshoot wearing a Santa hat with loads of tinsel around your shoulders, maybe holding a cheeky bit of mistletoe. Give the camera a wink and a smile and see what kind of reaction you get. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Right, PR advice over, back to business.
The second song is called Ultra Truth and this one is better because it's got some beats on it. I can imagine Ivan Smagghe playing this one early doors whilst all the punters are filing in at one of his all-night parties somewhere. It's moody AND uplifting.
After that one, there's another breathy, moody but uplifting song called Wall Of Sleep, and we can all empathise with that song title! How many times have you been out boozing with your pals and ended up asleep on a wall, lads and ladettes? Eh?! It's a really good song and HAAi is out of this world on the mic. Watch out Beyonce!
The Slow Bullet sounds like a bullet whooshing past your ears in slow motion. There's no way on earth I'm going to play this at our New Year's Eve house party. Sorry, Daniel.
Devotion. This is more like it. I'm going to play this drums and bass slimy roller to my 22-year old cousin in Lichfield who goes to drum n bass nights in Birmingham every weekend to prove to him that I'm still cool. I don't know anything about D&B, but this is r-r-r-r-r-really good. I wanna give you devotion?! HELL YES! LOL
I thought my speakers were playing up when I played the next song, Only, because everything sounds all crunched up. Imagine my embarrassment when, after smashing up my speakers, throwing them out of the window and going down to PC World to replace all of my audio visual set up with more expensive gear, I realised that it's supposed to sound like that! I had to laugh.
I almost skipped the next song, Spider, because I don't like spiders, but I'm glad I didn't because it's a lovely slice of electronica pudding. It's like tucking into a big bowl of synthesised apple crumble smothered in loads of percussive custard. It filled me up and it made me as happy as when I'm crushing a real spider into a handful of bog roll and flushing it down the toilet. Mmm. Lovely.
I'm not sure what SHERELLE is talking about at the end of Near Perfect, but the track itself sounds like some bonus beats that Dr. Dre might have left over after his Compton album. It could easily sneak in on the fourth CD of a deluxe remastered Japanese import re-issue of Compton by Dr. Dre in the year 2034.
Higher is more drums and bass to impress my cousin Jozef in Lichfield. Daniel Avery has cynically added sleigh bells on this one in an attempt to grab that famous Christmas number one. Come on, guys, lets get Daniel Avery to the top spot this year! Actually, no, lets keep LadBaby there because their songs about sausage rolls are really, really, really funny. I'll never get tired of LadBaby. LOL.
I've just read that they're millionaires now. Sickening.
Anyway.
Ache isn't something I'll be playing at my New Years Eve house party, either. It's too slow and there aren't any beats.
I don't know what to make of Collapsing Sky. There are beats on this one, but you can hardly blimming well hear them. It makes me feel a little bit sad, to be honest, especially when it's on as I'm looking out of the window across the Eastcote skyline. I wonder what life was like in Ruislip and Eastcote four hundred years ago. It must have been so different.
Lone Swordsman drags the album back onto the dance train track and ties it down with that really heavy, thick rope that American baddies use to tie goodies up with and then they summon the train driver (who is also a baddie) to come and run the goodie over with the steam train of dance. The baddies have both got pencil moustaches. It's a great feeling being pummelled into the ground and murdered by Lone Swordsman and I think the Guv'nor is up there now, bopping away to the melancholy grooves with His eyes closed and a finger in the air.
I had to check myself and then stop myself from smashing my new speakers up as Overflowing With Escape fizzled and bitcrushed around the back extension of our 3-bed semi. "It's supposed to sound like this, it's supposed to sound like this", I kept chanting to myself in a Russell Brand-style meditation mantra.
"Fresh with broken hay, atop the shadow mountain burns the fire of better days." No idea what they're talking about at the beginning of Chaos Energy, but it's a great track. It's a bit like Lone Swordsman, which is no bad thing, except on Chaos Energy it gets a bit darker and scarier the more it goes on, and it only goes on for five minutes, so you're not going to be yawning.
To finish the album, Daniel Avery plays the song, Heavy Rain, which is something I'm sick of, to be honest. It feels like every time I do the school run at the moment, me and my youngest lad are getting rained on. Honestly, I'm glad I work from home because I'm able to get back, get dry and change my clothes. I couldn't have done that if I was still going into the office every day, I'd be a right state! That glorious, climate change summer is now a distant memory. It wouldn't be so bad if the school wasn't a half an hour walk / fifteen minute cycle. If the school was around the corner, I wouldn't be that bothered by the rain. I don't know. Could be worse, I suppose. At least our front garden has got green grass again.
So, Ultra Truth by Daniel Avery is a really good album. I would definitely recommend buying it, but if you can't afford it, listen to it on Spotify or see if it's on Pirate Bay. When I spoke with the butcher on Ruislip Manor, we both wholeheartedly agreed that it was a 10/10 album.
Ultra Truth by Daniel Avery is OUT NOW on Phantasy Sound.
Buy it here: Ultra Truth | Daniel Avery
Follow Daniel Avery on Twitter and on Instagram
Follow Phantasy Sound on Twitter and on Instagram
Here's a picture of Daniel Avery that I drew to enhance and accompany the review. It's really good, isn't it?
I'll be back next week with either more dance music reviews or an interview with Man2.0 or Crozier or something.
I'm thinking of doing a Christmas remix of My World by Guns n Roses, too. We'll see if I've got time.
See ya, bab.
Email me: BestPromos4Eva@gmail.com
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