Welcome to Best Promos, readers. We've got a busy show ahead of us today, and, if I may say so, not unlike this shambolic Tory government, we've got a chaotic road ahead of us, because, listeners, I mean, readers, not only are you sat there in your workwear, or your nightie, or your emergency services uniforms, you are sat there wearing, what must be, a deep shade of shame across your faces for voting in this shambles. This cacophony of chaos. This mass of mayhem, to rule and set the rules for the way we live our lives today. You and me. Not them. Aren't you?
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Look in the mirror. How red are your cheeks? No, not those cheeks! Honestly. Readers. Take a moment to just sit back and think about this. Take a sip of tea. Or a sip of coffee.
Or a sip of lager. You might be down the Wetherspoon's. Old Intolerant Tim is topping you up, keeping you stupid as his mates, THIS government, are Brexit bathing in YOUR money and rubbing YOUR humiliation into their fat, piglet bellies as YOU go hungry and can't afford to keep the kettle on this winter. It's ok for you to not have a cup of tea at Christmas, isn't it? Imagine that, readers, no tea on Christmas morning, whilst creepy Kwasi and his banker bros are literally SWIMMING in tea in their massive swimming pools paid for by YOUR future. Maybe Father Christmas will pay for our heating bills. Maybe Father Christmas will feed YOUR children. Maybe Father Christmas can't afford to feed his reindeer and Christmas will be another pretty, wrapped-up box ripped out of our grovelling hands by Ebenezer Truss and her gang of ghouls.
Think about it. Listeners, I mean, readers. Where we are, as a country, today? Great Britain? Great? Really? Hmm. How have we ended up where we are today? Where are we today? Where are you? What are you doing? How do we get out of the merry mess we're in?
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I want to hear from you, readers, because it's not me who's going without cups of tea this winter. It's not me who can't afford to download the latest shoulder-pad techno and hard bag on Bandcamp. This government are SHOWERING me in MP3s and WAVs. I can't move for Running Back and Disco Halal promos, well I can, because I'm still not on their promo lists, but anyway, you get the picture.
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What is going on? We've got a caller on line four. Steve in Walsall. Steve, what's on your mind?
Alright, mate? How we doing, mar mate?
I'm ok, Steve. What's on your mind?
I just wanted to say how crap I think the new Perc EP is.
*spluttering* Pardon??
Yeah, mate, it's proper rubbish. It's just six minutes of noise and massive drum beats.
Are we talking about the same thing here, Steve? Dirt by Perc? The new 3-track EP on Perc Trax? It's ruddy brilliant.
Yowm jokin', aye ya?! It aye, though, James, I mean, Best Promos. It gid me an headache. I just think these producers get paid a load of money - and doe forget it's ordinary working class people like me who pay for these records - and we need more melodies and nicer vocals. Dirt is literally just noise with a 2-second clip of a famous piano tease in the middle. I cor stand it.
Steve, you're talking rubbish. Sorry mate, but you are. Nobody is making you buy Dirt by Perc. If you want melodies and Disney princess vocals, you've got Defected and whatever label Masters at Work are on nowadays. People love Perc for precisel...
...but James, I mean, Best Promos, it's too fast and the two remixes sound exactly the sam...
...I gave you your chance to speak, Steve, and now it's my turn. Don't interrupt. The remixes are not exactly the same, there are many subtle differences if you'd bothered to actually listen to them all. You can't just phone up and rubbish an EP by a brilliant industrial techno producer/DJ, and incidentally, a really nice bloke in real life, without giving it the chance it deserves.
You'd have to be off your head on ganja or something to like it.
Right. Steve, let me educate you. Opening up the release is the original mix of Dirt, layering searing top end percussion over cropped breakbeats before dropping unexpectedly to an unmistakable classic piano riff. The riff has been completely replayed and re-recorded rather than sampled and provides the kind of sudden jolt that Perc's productions are famous for. And if you think that's "rubbish", then, I'm sorry, but you deserve every misery you get this winter. It's a solid 10/10.
Tonka in Northolt on line 2. Tonka, what would you like to say?
Alright mate. I'm not being funny, but there's been a lot of talk around Northolt that that Geordie DJ, Man Power, has got a new EP coming out at the end of October. He's been going around Twitter telling people who've got a voice; DJs, radio presenters, bloggers like yourself, to get in touch with him so that they can listen to it before everyone else can for free, and I just think it's unfair on ordinary working class people like me who are struggling to boil a kettle, let alone pay for a digital album on Bandcamp.
I'm sorry to hear that, Tonka, but don't you thi...
...my mate, Draper, he sent Man Power a DM to say he DJs at the Hop and Vine on Ruislip High Street, and Man Power sent him the download link without question. Draper doesn't DJ at all, and to my knowledge, there is no DJ night at the Hop and Vine yet - there should be, though! There's just no scrutiny going on, no quality control over who's getting Man Power's promos, and I'm sure it's all good stuff that he's coming out with, but why is it always the cool people who get these promos and the likes of me end up having to pay through the fucking nose six months after everyone else has moved on?
Woah. Hang on, Tonka. This is how dance music promotion works. The producers produce, the PR bods write some bonkers sentences to describe the music and send it out in rings to the peop...
...I used to write a successful blog. I know how these things work mate, and, to be honest: getting out of blogging was the best thing I ever did. The whole dance scene is swimming in fake, insincere try-hards. Chubby Funster and Seb Wheelie at Mixmag, Josh Baines at Vice, I did them all in. I was the fucking best. Now look at me. I have to use Pirate Bay for my m-m-m-m-m-music now. I'm a right sad case, but I'm telling ya, I was the best. Better than you. Better than this load of crap. Best Promos? You're having a laugh, mate. There's nothing "best" about this at all. Nobody even reads this blog.
Sounds like you're living in the past, Tonka, it really does, and there's no need to swear on this show, I mean, blog, and people do read this blog. They really, really do.
Look, Tonka, I'm trying to get my ducks in a row. Man Power does have a new EP coming out at the end of October, and it's with Junto Club and Club Tularose, actually, but you're absolutely right, and maybe it's not fair that you'll end up paying for it, but he can't give it out for free to everybody, can he?!
No, what I'm saying is...
...no, let me finish. He can't just give his music out to every Tom, Dick and Harry because he's got to live, too. Do you think Man Power can pay for cups of tea with positive social media interactions alone? No, he, like every dance music producer on the planet, not just in Gateshead, deserves a living wage, and if you're not going to let him earn what he deserves then, I'm sorry, but you're just as bad as Boris.
Yeah, but he gets to fly all ov...
...doesn't matter! Doesn't matter! That's his job! Right, let me tell you, Tonka, I've had a listen to this EP and it's a solid 10/10, and when I'm allowed to play it on here, I will because the whole of Ruislip needs to hear it, and I think, Tonka, you need to go back in your box and stay there. Or grow up.
Blood Money Power by Man Power is out on Me Me Me on Friday 28 October.
Carl on line 7. Carl, you're in Little Portland Street, what's going on?
Yeah, I just wanted to say that I saw on Twitter last night that James O'Brien from LBC used to go to Trade at Turnmills, and is a big fan of Tony De Vit, so I was just wondering what the chances would be of getting James O'Brien to do a hard house set with you guys at The Social?
James O'Brien DJing, or curating, a hard house night at The Social with Best Promos? How many pints deep at Wetherspoon's are you, Carl?! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
No, I'm serious. Ros Atkins off the news has done a couple of drum and bass nights at The Social this year, so why not ask James O'Brien to work with Best Promos to do a one-off hard house night?
Would it have to be hard house? All night? Not sure that would work, to be honest, Carl.
No, I mean, you could still have Pete Fowler upstairs. Could have a live set by Galaxy Brain or something. Maybe get Ambient Babestation Meltdown and Joe Europe involved, Manni Dee might be up for showing up. Man Power, maybe? Man2.0. Anne Savage is a laugh, she'd probably play a set for you. These are just names off the top of my head.
Certainly sounds interesting, Carl, I suppose you'd have to try and get in touch with James O'Brien in the first instance, though, because without him it's just a blog that nobody has ever heard of playing records that people stopped listening to in 2001. Thanks for the call, though.
Love the blog, by the way, Best Promos. Hope you start getting more readers.
Thanks, Carl, appreciate it. Some interesting points there, and a lot of information to ponder from all of our callers today. I need a cup of tea now...
...but, before we leave today's show, I wasn't there, unfortunately, but Ros Atkins and Ray Keith at The Social last week was, by all accounts, a 10/10 performance.
Ok, that's about all we've got time for today. Coming up, Mystery Hour with Riz Lateef, and the news and weather with Nick Ferrari. Join me tomorrow, where I'll be microtometercandyhell. Goodbye.
Right now, I'm going to start the post with some fashion news.
FASHION NEWS
Kanye v Adidas
Kanye West put something on Instagram yesterday about taking down Adidas, and beating them at making trainers or something. I'm not being funny, but Kanye West trainers are rubbish, so I don't think people will suddenly switch to buying pairs of Yeezy trainers over pairs of Campus...or Samba. Do you?
Adidas stands for All Day IDream About Sex, and I-I-I-I-I think that Kanye West should think about THAT before he starts kicking off at THEM. Do you know what I mean?
I don't.
I can't find what he said about Adidas now because he's deleted all of his Instagram posts. I do that sometimes, so I can now see both sides of the story and empathise with him. I hope they can work out their differences, and I hope that Kanye West can find peace.. We all want that for him. We're rooting for you, Ye, everyone here at Best Promos has your back. I know us guys aren't always great at talking through our issues, but it's 2022 now and I'm here for you, mate - and, in fact, anyone else who wants to open up. Write into:
Share Your Problems With The Lads
Best Promos HQ
Eastcote, Ruislip
PO BOX 96
Write in and attach a photo of yourself, explaining any wellbeing or mental needs issues you might be having at the moment. I promise to intercept your letters before Pottsy gets his hands on them. Pottsy is relentless with the banter, and will be very unforgiving with the insults he throws your way. For example, if you're grieving the loss of the queen, or any loved one, and the photo you send in is one of you with a bald head, he might call you "tennis ball head" or "bowling ball". If you write in with a sensitive relationship issue, and you're fat, I mean, overweight, he might call you "bowling ball" or "chip shifter". If you write in to say you're struggling with your sexuality, and you're old and fat, I mean, overweight, he might call you "shatter back" or "bowling ball". Actually, whatever you do, don't state your sexuality. Pottsy is very old-fashioned. He once laughed at me and screamed, "you shit sCONTENT REMOVED BY BEST PROMOS LAWYERSstard!", for tapping my feet to a Frankie Goes To Hollywood song.
Anyway, please do write in with your problems, or email us, and we'll aim to respond to as many as we can with what we think you should do about them.
DANCE MUSIC REVIEWS
The Queen's funeral was on the telly yesterday, and in between Tweeting cheeky things about it on Twitter, I watched some of it. Imagine my surprise when my ears literally pricked up and twitched at the sound of the Scots Guard playing TRANSHUMAN AGENDA, the new album by the self-styled "Beverly Hills Bitch", Robotek Reagan! It was so nice to hear the opening track, TRANSHUMAN AGENDA (‘a new paradigm’ mix), played on a bassoon. Unfortunately, there were no vocal oohs and ahhs from any of the guards, so I did that myself on the sofa. The maudlin duet between my vocal oohs and ahhs in Eastcote, and the Scots Guards bassoon as the coffin left Westminster Abbey on the telly was one of the most emotional things I'd ever been a part of. Sad times.
As the gun carriage careered past Westminster Hall towards Whitehall, the familiar tune of simp4u played out as a waltz time signature to French horns and trumpets, a peculiar arrangement, but it worked. Again, I had to sing the vocals in my living room, which was difficult because of the waltz arrangement and because I didn't know all of the lyrics off by heart. I found myself repeating the words, "Feel your heartbeat next to mine, life is too queer, spending it all alone, I need you here...", but I'm not sure if I got them right. Hopefully, up there, ma'am didn't mind! LOL!
I half expected a funeral march by an old posh composer to be played next, but as the camera zoomed in on King Charles' ECSTATIC face, a solitary trombone began to play the top-line melody of SAVE POINT ('Lucida-Culture-Matrix' Mix)!!! I genuinely couldn't believe what I was hearing. It sounded great, almost as good as the creepy, horror computer game original.
Her Majesty bowled down The Mall to a jaunty, tuba driven version of Birds On Acid Lake which, in my mind, sounded better th...I've not got the energy to finish this review. Sorry. Do you get the picture, though? I'm pretending that instead of playing funeral marches at the Queen's funeral, the Scots Guard and the band of Grenadier Guards played the new album by Robotek Reagan instead, for some reason. It started off as a funny idea, but it was getting tiresome. I'm tired. I'll just score it out of ten and be done with it.
Robotek Reagan's 47th album of the year came out yesterday and it's a right royal knockout! It's called TRANSHUMAN AGENDA, and I just can't stop listening to it! It gets a WHOPPING 10/10 from all of us here at Best Promos!
1. #Justice4Waze - Gordo is a moron. Jilted John. Yeah! What everyone else is saying about him, I agree with, the bugger!!! Here's my scathing contribution:
2. Mark Broom does the best dance song title names, volume 74
WHAT'S ON IN OCTOBER?
East London's trendy Ransom Note is throwing a party at central London's trendy The Social in a few weeks. Will I be there? If I can, I will. It's been almost five years since I've gone to a Ransom Note event, so it would be nice to see a few old(er) (LOL!!!) faces and have a bit of a dance.
On the bill, in da club, is Blankson, Kate Webb, Rosie Ama, Matt Cowell and Ally McTropical, so the beats are 100% going to be relentless and they'll all be sat on the dance music genre side of the party fence. Upstairs will probably be Pete Fowler and his inimitable brand of non-stop yacht rock and proto-shoulder pad. DON'T MISS OUT, OR IT!
Not a lot else to say about this event, to be honest. The Ransom Note lot are ace, The Social lot are ace, it's bound to be a proper 10/10 corker. Tickets are on sale, I think, not sure where, though. JFGI...
Ran$om Note & Friends... at The Social is on Friday 7 October 2022
Am I done now? Can I finish? No? Oh yes, I said I'd do a merchandise thing. LOL. I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed down! LOL!
DANCE MERCHANDISE
Secretsundaze Insulated 3-Piece Lunch Bag, Sandwich Box and Sports Bottle
ONLY £11.95
If your little ones are fans of Secretsundaze, make them happy with our insulated 3-piece set containing a lunch bag, sandwich box, and sports bottle. Our 3-piece set features the famous Secretsundaze character's graphics printed on it, making it a must-have gift for fans! So don't be late...add some action to your lunchtime with this super cool set!
Cool. I'd buy it.
I'll be back next week with much, much many more things like this what you've just read now on here.
"Yo man, there's a lot of brothers out there, Flaking and perpetrating but scared to kick reality."
Pottsy:
"Man, you been doing all this dope blogging, You ain't had a chance to show 'em what time it is."
The Editor at Best Promos:
"So what you want me to do?"
Pottsy:
"Express yourself!"
Pottsy is absolutely right. I spend every week plugging other people's talents. It's about time I showcased my own excellent dance music production abilities. Dance music is properly easy to do. All you need is a crack, I mean, fully authorised and paid for, copy of Ableton and the ability to use a mouse.
This is a track I knocked up on my lunch break yesterday afternoon. It's a cheeky white-label bootleg called Thank You, Ma'am (The Eulogy Mix)by Best Promos, and if any techie, nerdy websites like Attack Mag, super cool youth site Resident Advisor, Future Music, Music Radar or The Quietus (not them, but I can't think of any other nerdy, high-brow websites that cover dance music) want to pick it up, cover it and dissect how it was done, you're welcome to use the helpful screenshots further down on this post.
So, without further ado, here is our heart-felt tribute to the new King, with a low-slung, spacey disco tint to carry your mourning onto a whole new plane of respect and understanding, man. I've also opened it up as a free download, so fill your boots.
It's really good, isn't it, readers? I can imagine Prosumer playing this at Man Power's night in Fulchester, or Wes Baggaley playing it out at [Hard] DICK in Prague.
Speaking of which, tickets for Me Me Me Are you Affiliated 2: "The Committee Strikes Back" Prosumer + Man Power are on sale now (Saturday 3 December), and they're ONLY £13.61, that's just over £6 per DJ...which is a bargain. It's probably going to be a 10/10, so if you live in Fulchester, go, and if you don't, get a coach or a train up there, or down there if you live in Scotland like Prosumer does, well, he used to, I think. He might have moved since then, but that's by the by. It's bound to be wall-to-wall dance music all night long until chucking out time.
If I were ever asked to DJ in Newcastle, I would 100% play Geordie Boys (Gazza Rap) by Gazza with my top off. How brilliant would that be? It's (genuinely) always been a DJ fantasy of mine.
If I ever DJ'd in Wolverhampton I'd play the theme from Steptoe and Son, or just two hours of cow diarrhoea and dogs being sick mp3s.
Whilst I'm at it, Geoff Mills, I mean, Jeff Mills, is playing in Fulchester soon, too! He's on in October (15th), so get tickets for that, and all. I doubt that he'll play Thank You, Ma'am (The Eulogy Mix) or Geordie Boys (Gazza Rap), but it should still be good.
Buy tickets for Me Me Me with PROSUMER here: mememe/Prosumer
What a week, eh readers? This time last week, Boris Johnson was still the Prime Minister, HRH Queen Elizabeth II was still ruling us and the Cost of Living Crisis was still a thing! Today, Liz Truss is the Prime Minister, Prince Charles is now KING Charles III because HRHRHRHR Queen Elizabeth II is now a dead body and NOBODY cares about the Cost of Living Crisis because we're all more than happy to stick that on the back burner and punt up the cash for the Queen's state funeral next week. I genuinely don't mind wearing a vest, an extra cardigan, a pair of tights under my cords, an extra pair of socks and my West Bromwich Albion hat and gloves set all day, every day, this winter if it means bonny King Charles III gets to give his old lady a proper send off.
Poor old Queen. I wish she was still around, but she's not. She's definitely dead *upside down smiley face with tears*
I went down to Buckingham Palace on Friday afternoon to pay my respects and to take lots of smug selfies for my friends who aren't able to be in London at the moment to enjoy the excitement, and I came across a totally wicked sound system outside the gates. Ch-check it out:
I've tried to Shazam that remix of "Macho Man" Randy Savage's theme song, but it's so rare it's not even on Shazam! It must be a white label so, if anyone has a copy, can they send it over, please? I'd like to play it as my opening track (and my "one more" at the end of the night) when I start doing the Best Promos night at The Social. Thanks!
Today's post starts..................................................now:
beatsbyhand could do with retaking his GCSE in English, or in his case, the National Senior Certificate of South Africa because his grammar and ting is all over da shop! Errr, do they even have Caps Lock/Shift keys and space bars in Jo'burg? Like, come on, u get me?! LOL! Beats By Hand, I mean, beatsbyhand, has overcome his educational deficiencies and produced what is, in my opinion, the best promo that Charlie Tilley at HYPE-Filter has ever sent me. It's better than a lekker big plate of slap chips, and no mistake.
Any album that confidently kicks off with a cover of a classic is alright by me, and I Am Jazz opens with a chilled-out take on La Da Dee La Dee Da by Gypsy Woman. It's the kind of version that makes you wish you had a hammock to listen to it on.
Have a lie down on your floor and listen to this:
The rest of the album sounds similar, in a good way, and like me; Soul Clap and Wolf + Lamb love this album, too, probably. It's the kind of record you could put on in the background to trick some new friends into thinking that you're trendy, and to establish a cultural higher ground over them, and it's also the kind of stuff you could play in a bar/club to impress the punters who are there for some nice, relaxing house music. Do not, I repeat, do not play any of this album at House of God, Atomic Jam or any of the nightclubs in Rotterdam.
You will get spat on.
Play it at Spirtland or something.
So, to summarise: I Am Jazz by Beats By Hand, I mean, beatsbyhand, will definitely make your party kief if you play it out at a jol, etc, and it get's a SOLID 10/10 on this website.
I Am Jazz by beatsbyhand is out on Friday 30 September on Stay True Sounds.
Whoops. Sorry. I've just been informed by my granddad that the opening track on I Am Jazz is a cover of Gypsy Woman (She's Homeless) by Crystal Waters, not La Da Dee La Dee Da by Gypsy Woman.
Best Promos are happy to correct this and we offer our apologies for the confusion and any offence caused.
(as long as you're British) Ten days ago, the world was a different place. Ten days ago, instead of us all wearing black ties and laying flowers everywhere, the world was in glorious technicolour as we celebrated the release of the brand new album on one of the best record labels in the world, Running Back. I've been celebrating Running Back's releases on here since day one (Jan. '22), and I've made it no secret that I would love to be on their promo list, so I'm unashamedly plugging their music on here again. I am a man without shame.
In my head, I have Running Back and Disco Halal fighting it out for the top spot in my Premier League of record labels. Disco Halal went top of the table recently after Maximum Flavour scored a stunning brace with Chef's Kiss, but the gaffer, Gerd Janson, has made a switch and stuck the big man, Philipp Lauer, on up front and he's scored seven goals in just 36.25 minutes! And yes, the ref has blown for full time and Cyclone Days is now being sung from every corner of the stadium in that 80s robotic electro voice, if you can imagine that.
Philipp Lauer does modern Italo and stuff like that better than anyone else, and Running Back put out loads of stuff like that anyway, so this signing makes sense on every level. Cyclone Days by Philipp Lauer is seven tracks of stuff that will knock the stuffing out of any dance floor or house party you play it at, and will sound even better if you've got a bit of stuff inside you. My favourite track is Exterminate, it's like the Pet Shop Boys meet New Order on the dancefloor of the Haçienda whilst Brian Ferry rides a donkey across the top of the bar in a Noddy Holder top-hat whilst Ivan Smagghe goes back to back with Flemming Dalum...on steroids! Do you know what I mean?
It's a pure 10/10 LP.
Cyclone Days by Philipp Lauer is OUT NOW on Running Back Records
I've not really listened to much else this week, to be honest. Ooh. I tell a lie, I've been listening to an exclusive promo .mp3 zip file .wav of a Carlton Doom (real name, Carl Doom) album that's coming out in October, the month of the beast. It's so secret, that I'm not allowed to preview any clips on here yet or even describe it...but I'm a rebel and a controversial writer, so I'm going to describe it anyway...I don't care...
...BRKN024 - MASTER WAVs* by Carlton Doom (real name, Carlton Dorchester) is four tracks of pure dance music. I can't wait for it to be October so that everyone can buy it on vinyl, it's fantastic. October is also the month that I'll be officially reviewing it on here. You didn't hear it from me, but I think we're looking at a nifty 10/10 for it, and all. Keep it under your hat.
"Four tracks of pure dance music - Best Promos" - you can stick that quote on your poster if you want?
* probably not the official release title. It will probably be something gothic.
I'll be down The Social on Wednesday night this week for the Ivy Recrods (not my spelling mistake) Night, and to see my new favourite guitar (sorry, dance fans) band, ROWSIE. I bigged them up to the max on last week's post, so I'm not going to stick my tongue out any further today, but I will reiterate the offer of ONE FREE PINT to anyone who is about and comes down to see them, too. I'll be there with at least one chum, but I'm here today to URGE you to come down and have a right good laugh in central London with the CEO and Managing Director of Best Promos.
It's the only bar/club in central London you can have a laugh in, I think.
Come and have a laugh.
ROWSIE at The Social will probably be a 10/10 night, and it's free to get in. It'll be a laugh. Sorted.
I'm still in mourning, so I'm physically unable to hold my pen in my hand for any longer. I hope you're all doing ok. I'll be back next week with a more upbeat post, chocka block and ramma jamma full of David Morales and Madison Avenue songs.
Liz Truss is our new Prime Minister - the most female Prime Minister we've ever had - so hopefully she'll sort England out so that we all get out of this Credit Crunch madness.
No, that's a rubbish intro. Sorry. I'll try again...
Liz Truss is the sexiest female Prime Minister we've ever had, eh fellas? Am I right?
"You're not wrong!"
Blimmin' hell. That was even worse...and a bit sexist! One more go, hang on...
Liz Truss is the new Prime Minister of England, there's no getting away from it, so to welcome her to the job I'm dedicating today's post to the country's new favourite Liz:
Truss, Liz
In my head, I've asked Liz to review this week's promos and upcoming events and, in my head, she's responded to say she'd be delighted to listen to some dance music and score them out of ten for us. As we all know, she's got the "in-tray from Hell" this week, so I'm well chuffed to have her skiving off on Best Promos!
I received an email from the self-professed "wild man of dance music PR" last week, Will Hofbauer. He said to me that I should have a listen to the new song by the self-professed "wild man of dance music", Spencer Parker. He said it's really good and that it's called Power 99 and it's on Sound As Records and it's really good and that I should definitely put it on my blog because it's really good and it came out last Friday and he thinks I should definitely listen to it.
I did listen to it and it's a right bloody racket...in a good way!
It's got a hard beat and it's fast and it samples one of them hospital life support machine beeps. For the bassline, he's used the 'draw' function in Ableton and just filled every cell in the clip, then moved some lines up and some lines down to give the sound some variety. If you hear it in a nightclub after swallowing a couple of pingers, you'll be jumping for joy when this comes on.
I heard it on my desktop speakers at medium volume and it made me jump for joy, too. I was grinning from ear to ear and I'd only had a cup of tea. I said to Pottsy on the desk opposite that Power 99 is a "slimy roller", and he agreed with a nod and a smile.
Every now and again, Spencer croons the words, "Power 99", in an American accent in an apparent homage to his favourite ice-cream; the 99.
The question is: does he have a flake?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
So, Liz. Over to you with the score.
Wow! Well done, Spencer. Can't say no fairer than that!
Power 99 by Spencer Parker is OUT NOW on Sound As Records
That was a good fun fact. More of those later in the show.
Let's do another dance review now.
Wait a minute, Radio Slave has got another song out on Rekids and this time it's called Wait A Minute! It's r-r-r-r-r-r-really good. I had a listen to the promo this morning for the first time and felt embarrassed because I described it as the below last week on Twitter before I'd listened to it:
Low slung bass, dreamy vocals and unrelenting disco pad stabs drag this surprisingly r-r-r-reliable Rekids release into an underground, red-light stratosphere where Grace Jones meets Ivan Smagghe on the dancefloor at Foreign Muck in 2004, and has us all beaming from ear to ear. https://t.co/VJkslkT2dw
I just thought that low slung bass and dreamy vocals could apply to everything in dance music, but I was wrong. The bass on Wait A Minute isn't low slung, it's aggressive! The vocals on Wait A Minute aren't dreamy, they're shouty...and aggressive! They're sung/rapped by a bloke called Nez and I think he's rapping about wanting to get a dollar (that's American for £1) and telling us to put our hands up.
It really inspired me to rob the local building society! LOL! Only joshing, guys. Only joshing.
Wait A Minute by Radio Slave and Nez is grrrrrrrrrrilliant, and it comes FREE with a couple of Mark Broom remixes for only £4 (or £10.80 on vinyl). Both of which are smashing and different to the original. My favourite is the Non Stop Remix:
Liz, what do you reckon?
Blimey! Nice one, Radio Slave and Nez!
Wait A Minute by Radio Slave feat. Nez is OUT NOW on Rekids.
I'm really looking forward to going down The Social again. I'm going next week to watch a band I watched there a couple of months ago who I'd never heard of but liked so I followed them on Instagram and VOWED to go and watch them again the next time they played at The Social which is next Wednesday which is why I'm talking about them now on here and which is why I'm going to watch them again next week.
Don't let this put you off, dance fans, but ROWSIE are a rock n roll band. I think some of them are American and some of them are English, so that's quite an exciting mix, isn't it, readers? They're like Fleetwood Mac in that respect - but better. Have a listen...
...if, like me, you think they're good, and you fancy receiving ONE FREE PINT of lager off of me on Wednesday 14 September at The Social, come and say hello to Best Promos in real life. I'll be the one wearing trainers, cords and a t-shirt.
Contact details at the bottom of this post.
ROWSIE are a good band, The Social is a good venue. Free is better than paying for things. Come down. It's free.
Hey, Liz. You've had a listen to all of the music by ROWSIE on Spotify. What would you give them out of ten?
I couldn't have said it better myself. See you all down there next week.
I was going to do a bit about Freddie Mercury shouting "Oggy Oggy Oggy..." at Live Aid rather than "Ayyyyyyyyy oh!" this week, but I can't figure out how to write about it properly.
Maybe ROWSIE should do some "Oggy Oggy Oggy" next week to get the crowd going.
Right, I think I'm done. See you next week, gang. We've scooped some some exciting and EXCLUSIVE Carlton Doom gossip to share with you next week...stay tuned for that...
Don't forget to share Best Promos around like sweets in a playground.
