God Save Our Gracious Lizard

God Save Our Gracious Lizard. That's a very controversial title for a UK dance blog post, isn't it, readers? Quite edgy. Especially this week; the week of the royal and regal Platinum Jubilee for her seventy years sitting on the throne. Gawd bless her. When one broke one's wrist in January and was put on super-strength painkillers, the main side-effect was that they caused utmost arse blockage, or constipation.

It felt like seventy years on the throne for one every time one needed the bog! Do you know what one means? LOL.

Anyway, one does hope HRH Queen Elizabeth II doesn't get wind of this post or everyone here at Best Promos will be for the chopping block in the Tower of London! LOL.

Only Joshing, Liz, Only Joshing. One knows that you do a marvellous job. You and all of your weirdo kids deserve every penny of our money that you get. Here's to another seventy years in Buck House (Buckingham Palace) for Her Majesty The Queen!!!!

My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds

Best Promos hereby grant HRH Queen Elizabeth II by Royal Decree with a honorary and highborn 10/10 for her services to the UK and the English dance scene. Without those bits of paper with her face on, nobody would be able to buy ecstasy, ketamine, speed, coke, poppers, balloons, mandy, squidgy black and ganja in all of them M25 Orbital raves that begat the UK, global and worldwide dance and rave scene across the world and in any of the famous English nightclubs that popped up on the back of those infamous field raves in the Summers of Love '88 and '89. To this day, you can't contribute to the vibes on the dancefloor of any nightclub in GREAT Britain without handing over cash with the Queen's face on to a scary-looking, 18-stone hooded drug dealer with a Rambo knife in one hand and a massive bag of tablets in the other. Thanks, Liz. You may not realise it, but you make our world go around.

It's also impossible to do coke without going to the toilet and rolling up a bank note with her face on.

Same goes for when you and your mates pool your remaining pills together at the after-party, crush them up with an ornament on the coffee table and share it with the strangers in your living room.

GOD SAVE OUR GRACIOUS QUEEN.

10/10 for the Queen. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN.

I'm on leave this week, so this isn't a proper post. There'll be a proper one next week with loads of promo reviews, event previews and more on the Watching Trees developments.

What Watching Trees developments?

Well, I'm submitting my application to play in the hard house tent there in September so that I can record a live CD for release on the Optimo record label. I think it's a r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-really good idea. I've even done all the artwork for it on Microsoft Paint. Look:

It's r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-really good, isn't it, readers? It only took me five minutes, and all. Fingers crossed, guys.

Excellent artwork ^ ^ ^

What I will do a quick recommendation for is the new one on Sound Du Jour. It's a r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-really good EP called Monsters by a bloke called Man 2.0.

2.0? I wonder what happened to the first version! 

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!

The title track uses that famous breakbeat pattern that every dance music producer has used at one point or another in their journey/career, but Man 2.0 uses it in a uniquely different and exciting way: he puts some sirens over the top of it. Have a listen and let the soothing sirens and famous breakbeats wash over your mind and soul...and body...

MAN2.0 · Monsters EP on Sound Du Jour

I bet the Queen would like that one. The remix by Vyvyan is really good, too, but I prefer the original. I reckon it would go well with one of them old Shan tracks on Running Back. DJs - thank me later.

The other track on the EP is called Synapse (not sure why, this isn't explained in the press release), and this comes with a remix by the Sound Du Jour managing director, La Mano.

What's that one like?

Well, Jake at Dispersion PR said it best when he carefully chose these moving words, "La Mano dives deep into a glistening electro ride through rich soundscapes with his remix to close the show."

If the Queen, Laurent Garnier, Paul Woolford and Jennifer Cardini loves this EP, then I reckon I have to award it a high score. Hmm. Yes. Monsters EP by Man 2.0 gets a right royal 10/10 !!!

Monsters EP by Man 2.0 is OUT NOW on Sound Du Jour.

Buy it here: Monsters EP
Follow Man 2.0 here: @manmachine201
Follow Sound Du Jour on Instagram: @sounddujour
Follow Man 2.0 on Instagram: @man2pointzero

One hopes you all enjoy your time off for the Platinum Jubilee, anyway. Just think, when she finally pegs it we'll get some more time off for the funeral and stuff. Can't wait!! Nom nom nom...

Email me YOUR best promos: BestPromos4Eva@gmail.com
Tweet me: @BestPromos4Eva
Instagram me: /bestpromos4eva/

Now, all rise for our national anthem...

This Is The Best UK Dance Blog In The World: Part XIV

I never had N-Trance down as police informers, but my very dear and very old friend, the self-styled Mad Professor of UK 2-step Garage and UK Grime, Ian "UK Grime" McQuaid whispered in my electronic ear last week and pointed me in the digital direction of some online evidence of 90s dance pop superstar snitching in Wilmslow.

As you can see from the Tweet below, I am one of nine people who Liked what they did. Shoplifting is not on, and I don't care how Northern, Scouse or Manc you are, it's just not on. The majority of people commenting on their tattle-tale ways haven't taken it seriously and make the obvious "Set You Free" joke, which admittidly, I mean, admittedly, is hilarious, but I don't see the need to repeat it on this organ.

Shoplifting hurts British business.

#SupportOurSainsburys #WeStandWithNTrance #ACAB

Proof of 90s dance music tell tale tits

Speaking of crimes, and theft, Ian "UK Underground Bashment Scene" McQuaid NICKED my early-00s hard house mixtape from the Ran$om Note headquarters during the summer of 2015. It must have been near 7:30pm. He promised me I'd get it back, but I am alas ("but Vic, you have no knockers...")...I am alas, still without the best hard house mix tape I ever made.

This crime reference number is still live with the Met Police, and everyone here at Best Promos WILL get justice.

Juuuuuuuustice.

I need cheering up now. My blood is literally boiling.

Let's check my emails for any dance music promos.

Hmm. An email from someone called Genevieve. She sounds posh. Let's have a read...

Intentional pixels

...hmm, interesting. Genevieve is writing to inform me of a fab new EP by a chap in Copenhagen called Prom Night. That's not his real name. Prom Night's real name is Shaquille Beck McGosh.

That's a much better name than Prom Night. He should have used that instead!

Anyway, Shaq, I mean, Prom Night, has got a new EP he's worked on with Brynjolfur Heygum (I don't know if that's his real name) called BDYBASIC (real name, BODY BASIC) and let me tell you now, it's GRRRRRRRRILLIANT.

I can't find any previews of either of the two tracks on BDYBASIC online anywhere, so have a listen to one of the songs he released last month and you'll get an idea of the kind of stuff he makes:

Prom Night · Prom Night & Brynjolfur - 'Freakfunk' EP

It's good, isn't it? I can imagine slowly rolling from one foot to another on the dance floor, looking up to the ceiling and smiling a lot. I bet Todd Terje and Prins Thomas would play this. Gerd Janson would play it early doors. It'd get played at Secretsundaze. It wouldn't get played by Perc, Bleaching Agent or Truss. It would get played by Dixon, Craig Richards and Move D (pronounced, "Moved". It wouldn't get played by Modeselektor, Manni Dee or Surgeon. It would get played by me in my imaginary Ruislip nightclub in my head (No Requests). It wouldn't get played at Sundissential, Tresor or House of God.

So, with all of that in mind, what does BDYBASIC sound like???

Oh, hang on. I've just realised that Freakfunk IS on the BDYBASIC EP. Sorry, Genevieve.

So, with all of that in mind, what does BDYBASIC sound like???

Well, BDYBSC (the title track, not the name of the EP) has some lovely congas at the beginning to get you in the mood for some conga-based percussion before some jolly, Carribean-sounding keys plop on top of it to get you in the mood for some sorry, this is a rubbish review. It's brilliant music, but I'm not doing it justice.

Juuuuuuuustice.

BDYBSC is what I'd call tropical house. Ally McTropical will probably play it during his tropical house set at Watching Trees in September whilst Kieran and his brother, Tom, prepare for their set by digging in their pockets for CONTENT REMOVED BY BEST PROMOS LAWYERS and laughing their heads off whilst jogging on the spot like they're desperate for a wee.

I'm not sure if there is a pre-order link or anything for this EP, either, but if you keep refreshing Prom Night's Bandcamp page over and over and over again, I'm sure it'll appear for sale at some point.

BDYBASIC is properly fab and after much deliberation, all of us here at Best Promos agree that anything less than a tropical 10/10 would be a MASSIVE miscarriage of justice.

Juuuuuuuustice.

BDYBASIC is out on Friday 10 June 2022 on Prom Night Records.

Buy Prom Night music on the Bandcamp page: promnightmp3.bandcamp
Follow Prom Night on Instagram: /promnight.mp3/
And the record label: /promnightrecords/

Ps. Have a listen to this Ran$om Note mix by Prom Night and then go to Watching Trees to see how many tracks Ally McTropical has Shazammed off of it...LOL! Only joshing, guys!

Ransom Note · Prom Night: The Ransom Note Mix

Tresor now.

Tresor. Nightclub royalty. Like Real Madrid, AC Milan, West Bromwich Albion and Bayern Munich in football. Tresor sits in that very elite name of (night) clubs that combine contemporary quality, longevity, respect, a global fanbase and a history only enjoyed and understood by their peers: Ministry of Sound, fabric, Geo Bar, that German one with the celebrity bouncer who won't let anyone in, House of God, Atomic Jam, The Social, Heaven, Sundissential, Bugged Out!, Circo Loco, Foreign Muck, Torture Garden and I Love Acid.

Hmm, quite a bit of nightclub royalty there. Hope I haven't diluted the superior bloodstream.

What I'm trying to say is that there is a new EP coming out in July on Tresor by Gerald "Brunson" Brunson, and it's exactly the kind of music that Posthuman would play at one of his regal I Love Acid parties in and around the Commonwealth. Lots of acid noises on it. The name of the EP is Hug Your Friends, and I can really identify with that message because I have lots of friends here at Best Promos and I've actually written a policy document (approved by our People Services) that outlines the importance and the need to hug the editor (me) at the beginning and end of each working day. No hug, no pay.

It's the private sector, we can get away with all sorts here, so if any budding young or old women, I mean, people, want to come and no...I'm not carrying on with that bit, sorry. This is a dance music blog.

Hug Your Friends by Brunson is fab. All of the tracks on it are ace, but Hoffman's S.O.S. is probably the most accessible. It's the one that you could play to the missus and she wouldn't be as upset as she would be if you played her Morf. Morf is the one you'd probably need to be wide awake, hugging your friends, at 5am for it to make sense.

The press release talks a lot about "acid melodies", "mutant funk" and "effective rhythmic structures", which are all very nice words (except: "The synths move squeakily as if the machine got jammed into enlightenment." LOL! Whoever wrote that has something missing.), but to be honest, Hug Your Friends is just extremely good banging acid and techno. All the right people will play it at all the right places and you'll have a brilliant time dancing to it with your pals, and that's what it's all about, isn't it, readers?

I grant this EP a WHOPPING and "effective" 10/10

Hug Your Friends by Brunson is out on Tresor on Friday 8 July 2022

Pre-order it here: Hug Your Friends
Follow Tresor on Twitter: @TresorBerlin
Follow Dance Sacred (I think that's Brunson) on Instagram: /dance_sacred_records_/

Speaking of UK dance music festivals in the woods, Ran$om Note and Optimo have got a new one coming up in September. It's called Watching Trees, and if you think it's a festival where you just go to look at some trees for three days, then you can LOOK again! LOL.

No, Watching Trees is all about going into some UK woods and listening to loads of DJs play repetitive music until God knows what time in the morning and at volumes that would strip paint. It's the wildlife I feel sorry for. Not really. I don't care about the wildlife, I only care about sharing the link to this festival and encouraging people to go to it because I'm passionate about punters going to a wood with their mates and dancing for a few days to the sounds of Ivan Smagghe, Ally McTropical, Optimo, Kieran and Tom, Joy Orbison, Ellie Stokes, Scratchclart and much, much, many more.

It looks great. They've got a website for it that looks a bit rubbish and really good at the same time (I think it's the fashion these days for websites and stuff online to look like they're really old and retro), it's near Bristol so the weather should be alright (I think), there'll be food there so no need to bring a packed lunch and the friendly, long-haired layabout house music history buff, Aiden, will be running a vinyl hut where you can enter it to talk with him and buy records off of him, and tickets for the festival are only £139.00!

£139 is nothing these days. It's the price of a round of drinks in Notting Hill. LOL.

I can't say for certain, but I reckon Watching Trees, for Ivan Smagghe alone, will score a 10/10 by me in the September issue of Best Promos.

Watching Trees is on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th of September 2022 in a Gloucestershire wood.

Buy tickets here: watching-trees-txts
Follow Ran$om Note on Twitter: @ransomnoted
Follow Ran$om Note on Instagram: /thisisransomnote/
Follow Aiden on Twitter: @Aiden_dAraujo
Follow Ivan Smagghe on Instagram: /ivan_smggh_jmm/

Today's post was dedicated to the memories of Howard Hamlin and Rebecca Pearson. And Nacho.

"You may be gone from sight but you are never gone from our hearts. May the winds of Heaven blow softly and whisper in your ear."

Rest in Heavenly Peace.

Please stand for our final hymn...

13 O'Clock

One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, rock. Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, rock. Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, rock. I want to rock. Around. The clock tonight, welllllllll it's that time of the week again where we take a departure from listening to dance music promos and have a look at the telly.

No, ears are not the only parts of my body that I use for consuming cultural components. I also use my eyes, and when I'm watching the telly I like to use my eyes and my ears at the same time. If I'm watching a documentary (Louis Theroux, for example) or the news (Riz Lateef on BBC London for example), I also use my brain. I find that using my brain whilst watching documentaries or the news really helps me to think about what I'm watching, and I sometimes form an opinion.

If I'm watching a broadcast by HRH Queen Elizabeth II or a party political broadcast by the Conservative Party, I use my legs, my arms, my groin, my eyes, my ears AND my brain to stand up, salute/put my hand on my heart, look, listen and think about what I'm being told by our blinged-up fruity figurehead and our leaders. In fact, I've just hung a massive Union Jack out of the front bedroom window of Best Promos HQ so that everyone who passes by can see how much we admire and respect HRH Queen Elizabeth II in this year of her massive Jubilee.

Hang on, I'll just ask Pottsy to take a picture of me with the flag...

Cheers Pottsy, now pull your bloody trousers up! LOL! Mad man.

Anyway, what have we been watching here at Best Promos lately?

There is only one episode of This Is Us left, which is a shame. This Is Us (Amazon Prime) is a bit like Defected Records. It's harmless, wholesome, full of characters who like to give big speeches and force their homespun wisdom on anyone who'll listen, and it's sometimes funny. The owner, Simon Dunmore, also looks a bit like Toby.

If you drink ten pints of lager and squint hard enough, these two people look alike

Anyway, "hey bug", I'm hoping Rebecca can miraculously survive old age and Alzheimer's in the last two episodes and find love for a third time with a dozy new chap and live to see all of her grandkids grow up. Come on, American writers, give us the happy ending we deserve!

Speaking of Defected, they've got a new song out this week. Have a listen:

Defected Records · S.A.M. featuring Sarah Ikumu 'Spotlight (Sam Divine Extended Remix)' - Out 20.05

It's nice, isn't it? I like it. It feels like a fluffy warm, rabbit-skin blanket when you compare it to the stuff coming out on the record label that I compare to Villanelle and The 12 off of Killing Eve later on in this post.

Spotlight (Sam Divine Extended Remix) by S.A.M. featuring Sarah Ikumu is out on Friday 20 May 2022, and it's a r-r-r-r-really great song. The vocals are all about being in a maximum security prison, so it's got a bit of an edge, but I don't reckon the singer really is in the house of many doors...do you? It's the kind of song Andy Daniell at FFFFFFFRRR might listen to whilst ironing his collection of cargo trousers.

On a Sunday night.

Whish is no bad thing at all.

Spotlight (Sam Divine Extended Remix) by S.A.M. featuring Sarah Ikumu is grrrrrrrrrrilliant, and it gets a very respectable 10/10 from everyone here at Best Promos.

Buy it here: Spotlight (Sam Divine Extended Remix)

Follow Sam Divine on Twitter: @samdivine

Follow Defected on Twitter: @DefectedRecords

Follow Andy Daniell on Twitter: @andydaniell

I'm currently halfway through the last series of Killing Eve (BBC iPlayer) I think I watched episode 5 last night. Villanelle got shot in the back by a bow and arrow, and I think she's definitely dead now. I reckon the last few episodes will follow Eve through the grieving process and wrap up with Carolyn inviting Eve into The 12 and getting her to murder Hélène as an initiation whilst Konstantin kills Pam in the same room for pushing him in the water a few episodes before. The killings take place in the same room because The 12 have their own killing building in Germany where they carry out killings of their own as the initiation ceremony to make way for new members (like Eve). I like to think that in an imaginary future series of Killing Eve, some new people will kill Carolyn, Konstantin and Eve in the same room for their own initiation into The 12 and the cycle of killings will continue to roll on. Maybe the dead members of The 12 end up like ghostly Cenobites and murder each other in Hell in a similar cycle of netherworld killings. 

Phoebe Waller-Bridge, if you're reading...please don't steal my ideas!!!! LOL.

My version of events in Killing Eve is very dark. What's also very dark is the new album by Scottish dance pop stars in the making,  Bless This Machine. Synthetics is the name of the album, and it's all a bit spooky. I don't know what kind of machine they're trying to bless, but if they want something blessing they need to be a bit more positive in their outlook. Whenever a priest blesses someone, they don't do it to moody electronic soundscapes, they do it to a nice hymn.

And speaking of Cenobites, the bloke on the cover of their album looks a bit like Frank from Hellraiser after he'd been skinned alive in the attic by that creepy looking piece of crumpet.

Synthetics by Bless This Machine is a tour de force in uplifting electronic soundscapes. I say uplifting because I said "moody" earlier before I'd even listened to it, but now that I have listened to the album in full I've changed my mind a bit. I say "a bit" because it's still moody in places, like a lot of their previous releases, I think, but it's also got some electro-type stuff happening in places that made me smile, rather than frown. The track, 17:44, for example, sounds like the music to a lovely kiddlywink's lullaby being played on a Funktion-One soundsystem in a cold, German forest at the height of summer. The forest that Lalo Salamanca ends up in during the latest episode of Better Call Saul. And it made me smile.

Low Battery sounds like the music to an unused bit on Brass Eye, in a good way. That made me smile, too.

Overall, most of the tracks on Synthetics have some beats on them that are guaranteed to make you smile. They're either electro beats or muffled drum and bass patterns, so you shouldn't get bored. It's NOT a full on ambient, droney sound effects album. Don't worry. It's worth buying.

In fact, I'm in a good mood because of all that smiling and I'm going to cheerfully award Synthetics by Bless This Machine a happy 10/10 !

Synthetics is out on Friday 27 May 2022

Buy it on their Bandcamp page: blessthismachine.bandcamp

Follow Bless This Machine on Twitter: @bless_machine

Better Call Saul (Netflix) is good at the moment, isn't it, readers? The only thing I hate about it is the way that little girl calls Mike "pop pop". I hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhate it when she does that. I wish they'd kill her off, but of course we know they don't. Oh well. I sometimes wonder who would win in a fight: The 12 or one of those Mexican drug cartels in the Breaking Bad universe.

I think The 12 would, but I don't know why.

Get in touch on the socials to tell us who you think would win. Let's get that conversation started, guys. We can also wonder who would win in a fight between Villanelle and Gus Fing. Hmm. Tough one. I think Villanelle would kill Gus in an amusing way whilst pulling some funny faces. Maybe by force-feeding a whole fried chicken up his jacksy until he dies and then stabbing him through the windpipe with a Rambo knife before blowing his brains out with a chain gun for good measure. No Half Measures.

The next bit of dance music I'm going to review is the new Carlton Doom (real name, Carl Doom) EP on Hypercolour, but I think I'm stretching it thin to try and compare it to Better Call Saul or any of the characters in Better Call Saul. The Down In Red Light EP by Carlton Doom is brilliant, like Better Call Saul, and a bit scary sometimes, like Better Call Saul, but it's not funny, like Better Call Saul. The only thing funny about this EP is the name of the second track on it; Flutin Tootin Dopeboy. LOL. So, maybe they're not so darn well different after all...

Hypercolour · Carlton Doom - Down In Red Light EP (HYPE096) [clips]

Wolf Whistle is a funny name for a track, too, although I dread to think what the loony left woke brigade on Twitter will have to say about it because, rightly or wrongly, you're not allowed to wolf whistle pretty ladies anymore. I found that out to my cost whilst dropping off the kids at school a couple of months ago. A son should never have to suffer the embarrassment of watching his father getting laced into by a lollipop lady. Ever. Wolf Whistle is a fab track, though. Proper heads down mental. The Reger Remix of it is a bit more laid back, but it'll still get you skanking around your living room.

And with that in mind, I'm going to score Carlton Doom's new EP a brave 10/10 for being brave enough to stand up to the social media snowflakes and bedwetters with his choice of song titles. Cheers, Carlton. We salute you.

A big thanks and a big up (do trendy people still say that?) to HYPE Filter for sending me this EP. They've been sending me too many weird ambient things lately, so these Carlton Doom bangers are a breath of fresh air. It's right up my street. 

Down In Red Light EP (+ Reger Remix) by Carlton Doom is out on Hypercolour on Friday 17 June 2022

Pre-order it here: Down In Red Light EP

Follow Carlton Doom on Twitter: @CarltonDoom

Follow Hypercolour on Twitter: @hypercolour

What a great post. Thank you all for reading. Don't forget to send me YOUR best Promos. Goodbye.

Email me: BestPromos4Eva@gmail.com

Tweet me: @BestPromos4Eva

Instagram me: /bestpromos4eva/

Peter, Bjorn and Jim

I've been meaning to write a new post for the last couple of weeks, but I've been suffering with writer's block - and no, I don't mean I've been listening to that album with the one good song on it by Peter, Bjorn and John! LOL! 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

No, readers, I've been struggling to even start a post over the last couple of weeks. I think that Meet The Team post was so strong that it knocked me off balance, and that, along with not having loads of decent new music to listen to lately (that new Arcade Fire LP isn't giving me a cultural lob on, sorry DJ Windows 98 - I love your first three albums, though) had me stuck in the mud at the bottom of a massive writing rut.

I did try to start a couple of posts, but look at how rubbish they were:

Crap

Absolute crap

As you can see, my writing went from bad to worse, and there was no way on earth I could have published them, but I think I'm better now. Life is on the up again. I've got a couple of holidays booked (one foreign) for August, got a table at the front for Frank Skinner at the Phoenix Arts Club in July, seeing my idol and spiritual Guide Dog, I mean Guide God, Russell Brand at the end of this month, I've bought a new top hat, I'm going to see Guns 2 Roses in Bilston next month with my little sister and I've got loads of good new dance music in my inbox this week.

Cost of living crisis? WHAT cost of living crisis?!

One thing I haven't got lined up is any clubbing nights or festivals. Email me any good tips to BestPromos4Eva@gmail.com or put me on your guest list and I'll write about it on THIS website, I mean, blog. Even if I don't end up going to it *shrugging emoji *

What I like about Dispersion PR is that they don't bombard me with promos every ten minutes, but the ones they do send are always right up my street. Just last week, I received an email from the bad boy of dance music promos, Will Hofbauer, with a link to the new EP called High Street by Nowt on the brilliantly illustrated-logoed Third Place Records.

Who's Nowt?

Obviously, Nowt is Chris Watson.

Who's Chris Watson?

Seriously? Chris is one half of FYI Chris. Chris Watson's edits and features could previously be spotted on Rhythm Section, Banoffee Pies, Eclipse Tribes, and his own West Friends imprint. He's now preparing his first full solo release under his new Nowt alias, and the Rye Wax mainstay delivers a set of dreamy house cuts for Will Hofbauer’s Third Place...

...hang on...

...no, it's ok. Sorry. Ignore me.

Third Place · Nowt - High Street EP [Clips] [TPDD005] ✨

The first song on the High Street EP is called Polestar and it's got them old hip-hop conga beats and a bloke rapping about the orienteering marks of a compass and telling us to "come on". I love it. It's also got some nice flute bits and a bass line that just won't stop going around in an identical loop, like a circle.

The second song is called Owt and it sees Nowt in a playfully playful mood. It's got some of them disco toms at the beginning, someone playing the triangle and a woman huffing and puffing with some phaser effects running through her. I can just imagine the funny looks on Nowt's face as he knocked this one up in his studio-cum-larder. The drum beat is strong and the low-end is very low-slung. The press release tells me that the drums are bouncy, but they're not. They're strong. And tribal. It's the kind of record Danny Tenaglia would have started one of his 72-hour New York tribal Twilo sets with in 1994.

After that one it's shimmering percussion, deep lows, and choppy breaks meet on ‘Magnasound (Lazerdub Mix).

After that one, no, I've already used that line. Erm. After that song, you're looking at and listening to an ambient track called Docks n Locks. It's really good if you like short bursts of ambient noise and quiet gunshots and a bird chattering away in the background. I unwittingly enhanced this one by having the washing machine finish its cycle downstairs as I listened. It fitted together beautifully and I'll only listen to Docks n Locks now if I'm doing my laundry (which is every Tuesday morning, fact fans).

At the very end of the High Street EP is a digital exclusive only to those who buy it on Bandcamp. Nowt has somehow got Leonard Nimoy to record some vocals for the Nimoy Mix of Magnasound. How he transferred the audio files to earth from Heaven is beyond me...LOL. Only joshing, guys! The Nimoy vocals are copied using the Any Video Converter software, I mean, sampled from an advert he did for the CRAP LaserDiscs in 1981 - and what a tune! I won't describe it here because I don't want to spoil it for you.

Overall, the High Street EP by Nowt is great. I absolutely adore it. I'd never heard of this bloke before today, but I reckon it's the kind of stuff Soul Clap and/or Wolf + Lamb would have played when they all knocked about that trendy hotel in New York. And for that reason, amongst many others, I grant the High Street EP by Nowt a WHOPPING 10/10 !

It's out on Third Place Records on Friday 10 June 2022

I can't see any previews or pre-order pages. There's "nowt" of that anywhere, but keep refreshing their Bandcamp page until "owt" appears.

Follow Third Place Records on Bandcamp: thirdplacerecords.bandcamp.com

Follow Nowt/Chris Watson on Instagram: /fyichris_/

Follow Third Place on Instagram: /thirdplacerecords/

Ben Folds Five super fan, Man Power, real name: Herman Power, is not only a nice bloke online, he's probably a nice bloke in real life, too. I can't speak from experience, and I don't know anyone who can vouch for him, but I feel like, you know, getting to the age I am now (15)...I just know people. He seems like a nice bloke and I'm sure he is. Yes, he might have his moments, we all do, but let's not let the fact that, in our heads, he may or may not have unnecessarily lost his temper at a young subordinate or two over the years for not fetching him his CONTENT REMOVED BY BEST PROMOS LAWYERS before even playing a record colour our judgement of the man, Man Power. We've all laid into the next generation from time to time. It toughens them up.

Anyway, it's all in my head, that. I bet he's a nice bloke in real life. Maybe one day I'll find out. If only there was a way of getting close to Man Power in the flesh, not just on Twitter and other inferior, and younger, social media channels. I've got it! I'll pre-order a ticket for an upcoming gig of his and force myself to the front of the mosh pit. When I'm there I'll maintain eye-contact with him for the duration of his set. I'll be smiling and I'll be holding one of them 90s "CHOON" signs aloft from beginning to end as I march on the spot to his relentlessly useful choices of music. After he's finished his set, I'll beckon him onto the dancefloor where I'll scream plaudits in his ear and scratch the back of his head, asking him repeatedly how he's feeling. I will high-five him on more than one occasion whilst nodding my head and we will hug, and with my jaw going ten to the dozen, I will turn the "CHOON" sign over to show him the side that reads, "MAN POWER = 10/10".

And when he gives me a thumbs up, only then will I know for certain that Man Power is a nice bloke in real life. I cannot fantasise any other outcome.

Man Power is playing with DJ Harvey at the World HQ in Fulchester, Newcastle on Wednesday 1 June 2022

Buy tickets for it here: Me Me Me presents DJ Harvey - All Night Long

Follow Man Power on Twitter: @Man_Power_Music

Follow Man Power on Instagram: /manpowermusic/

Buy his stuff on Bandcamp: MeMeMe.bandcamp

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Additive PR have just emailed me some new music by a young man called Tim Engelhardt on Poker Flat. It's not out for a few weeks yet, but you can listen to the previews on their SoundCloud page. The EP is called Follow and it's main track is one of them moody pumpers that make you dance with your deadly serious face on. Do you know what I mean? Have a listen so that you know what I mean:

Poker Flat Recordings · Tim Engelhardt - Follow

Do you know what I mean now?

The second song on the EP, Burning, is also a bit moody. It's one of those pieces of music I can imagine Ricardo Villalobos playing at fabric around 9am before bringing George Morel in on those famous under-floor speakers. It's got the odd rising synth pad thing that always feels good when you're having a nice time with your pals on the dancefloor and there's also an orchestral vocal which wouldn't sound out of place on a Paul van Dyk song, so I'll keep hold of that "CHOON" placard for a little while longer. LOL!

Poker Flat Recordings · Tim Engelhardt - Burning

Overall, if I had a gun to my head, I'd give the Follow EP by Tim Engelhardt a respectable 10/10 because it's a right pair of really great dance music tunes.

It's out on Friday 17 June 2022

Pre-order it here: Tim Engelhardt on Bandcamp

Follow Tim Engelhardt on Instagram: /_timengelhardt_/

Follow Poker Flat on Twitter: @Poker_Flat

And finally, a "nice" band called Knice have a NICE new album (I think) coming out on 3 June and it's called Cornershop Spudgun. If it's anything like their previous releases, Surfin Skeg and Hit The Showers, then I think it's going to be a really NICE album, or EP or something.

Knice make the kind of music you'd play to annoy your stuffy dad in a wacky American sitcom, or the kind of music you'd finally snog your blonde cheerleading girlfriend to on the bonnet of a massive open-top red Cadillac as your gang of speccy nerd dweeb mates with over-the-top braces on their teeth cheer from behind a bush in an American coming-of-age sitcom. It's rock n roll with a punk edge, coated with hard rock guitars and punkish rock screaming, and it's really, really great.

There is also lots of shouting in their songs.

If I had to score the band, Knice, out of ten I would definitely give them a NICE 10/10

Follow Knice on Instagram: /kniceband/

Buy all of their stuff on Bandcamp for zero pence: knice.bandcamp

I'm done now. It feels good to be back, though. Thank you to the many tens of you who read Best Promos for keeping us going.

Logging off now. Bye.

Email me: BestPromos4Eva@gmail.com

Tweet me: @BestPromos4Eva

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