(My ego had taken over. I naturally assumed it was MY shed that was remixing Sven Von Thülen. I'm such a big head.)
I hollered at the team in a deep American accent, which caught their attention, "since when is my muthaflippin' shed being allowed to do remixes?!"
Pottsy being Pottsy, he took his trousers down, which made everyone laugh, and then excitedly screeched that it was Shed, not a shed, who was doing the remix! I felt like a right dingbat.
To be honest, though, Body Music (Shed Remix) by Sven Von Thülen does actually sound like it's been remixed by my shed! It's a right bloody racket. It's distorted beat after distorted bleep for about five minutes. There's no melody whatsoever and because I had it on full whack when I listened to it on the Best Promos office Funktion-One rig behind my desk, it's given me a headache. The original has at least got a bit of top line in it, but even that is just looped over and over and over again, like a circle.
Do I like this release?
Hell no...
...I love it! LOL
Body Music by Sven Von Thülen - the original and the Shed remix - is just the type of music you want to dance to in a nightclub. When you're buzzing your boobs off in a warehouse on pingers and poppers, the last thing you want to hear is Kings of Tomorrow or Don't Call Me Baby, you want the type of stuff that is going to make you bow your head, purse your lips, frown, close your eyes and stomp aggressively on the spot like a drugged up 2-year old girl as stranger massages the crown of your head.
Do you know what I mean?
So, with all that said, I can only award this release a STOMPIN' 10/10. Well done, guys.
Body Music by Sven Von Thülen (and Shed Remix) is out on FRIDAY 10 NOVEMBER on Work Them Records
Pre-order it here: Body Music
Follow Sven Von Thülen on Instagram
Follow Shed (I think?) on Instagram
Follow Work Them Records on Instagram
Oooh. I've just heard an email notification alert on my computer. A ping. I'm waiting for an email back from The Quietus, you see. I applied to be their senior dance music correspondent executive last week. I sent my cover letter and CV off, so this is probably from them to say that they'd be delighted to have me on board! I know they're a bunch of clever clogs, but I can hold my own; I left school at 16 with a big, shiny C in my English GCSEs.
Right. I'll be back in a minute, readers. Probably with some good news! I'll need a glass of champers, no doubt! Tee hee!
Oh. It was an email from the Republic of Ireland :-(
:-)
The shadowy CEO of Apartment Records has written to me to keep me in the loop about a new release on their label by a Glaswegian, I mean, Galwegian, called Belacqua. The release is called Dropped Balls, so I was obviously intrigued. Not enough male producers tackle (pardon the pun) the issue of puberty and scrotal plunge, so a big up to Belacqua for having the balls (pardon the pun) to get to grips (pardon the pun) with it (pardon the pun) in such an open and honest way.
So, we've established that it's a great piece of music, sure, but I'm not sure what it's got to do with the process of physical changes through which a child's body matures into an adult body capable of sexual reproduction. Belacqua - get in touch so we can discuss.
I might elaborate on this question next week because I just can't be bothered to (elaborate) at the moment. It's definitely food for thought, though. Where are they all?
And what a way! Dropped Balls kicks off with a low tempo BANGER called Gunnish which sounds a bit like the intro to As Heard on Radio Soulwax Pt. 2, the version of Jack The Ripper by Screamin' Lord Sutch that The White Stripes used to do and that Peter Gunn song.
Maybe that's why he called it Gunnish? Hmm. Anyway, it sounds fab with a couple of red wowies and seven lines of Charlie chalk inside you. Trus' me.
The rest of Dropping Balls is brilliant, but I won't go into too much detail. I suggest you BUY them all on the Apartment Records Bandcamp page and make your own mind up. It's all a bit mad and DIY, though, in a good way. There's also a nice remix of Gunnish by Marshall Applewhite which sounds like he's just added the original to Ableton, changed the Transient Loop Mode to Loop Forward and reduced the Transient Envelope number to about 50.
If I had a gun to my head (don't worry, readers, I haven't! LOL), I'd give Dropped Balls a well hung 10/10
Buy it NOW: Belacqua - Dropped Balls
Follow Belacqua on Instagram
Follow Marshall Applewhite on Instagram
Follow Apartment Records on Twitter and on Instagram
For DJ @ewanmcvicar_ Ayr will always be home.
— BBC Scotland (@BBCScotland) June 13, 2023
See more in #TUNE on @BBCiPlayer 👉 https://t.co/HfCl3k6bbY pic.twitter.com/9SS640e956
Speaking of non-English dance music people, I watched a nice video this morning whilst I was sat on the bog. It was a new clip on the BBC Scotland Twitter that appeared in my feed of Scottish Ewan McVicar talking about putting on a festival in Scotland, rather than playing in Mia...
...hang on a minute, this video is from June! Twitter is properly crap nowadays, isn't it? LOL
So, actually, this is interesting. We're covering English, Irish and Scottish DJs today on Best Promos which begs the obvious question:
Why aren't there any Welsh DJs?
I might elaborate on this question next week because I just can't be bothered to (elaborate) at the moment. It's definitely food for thought, though. Where are they all?
Speaking of Ewan McVicar, his Geordie pal, Man Power, is playing loads of his records with Erol Alkan on Friday in North Shields, with Tony Y Not in New York on the Saturday and with Club Tularosa the following Friday in Los Angeles. He did a post about it on Instagram and I promised to beef up the ticket sales by promoting it all on Best Promos.
This Friday night, I'm taking my eldest to Scouts in Ruislip, on the Saturday the wife is babysitting for the in-laws, so I'll be staying in with the kids in Ruislip, and the following Friday night I'll be taking my eldest to Scouts in Ruislip.
Now who's the winner?
Come on.
And finally, our donk remix of that Beatles song is doing better than ever. Almost 100 views in just 4 days is what I call going viral, and unless I'm proved otherwise, it's the ONLY donk remix of any Beatles song ever, so that's something, isn't it?
Have a listen:
It's good, isn't it? If I'm not called up by Madonna to do her next album, I'll be very cowin' surprised.
I was going to do a bit about laughing gas being banned, and that the youth of today will now just start tickling each other in alleyways and street corners instead, but it was r-r-r-r-r-r-r-really crap, so I scrapped it.
Until the next time.
Yours sincerely,
^ someone needs to do a decent edit of this one ^
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