Wednesday, April 20, 2022

12 Dance Street, Eastcote, Ruislip, HA4 E567

Now then, now then. A very warm welcome to this week's Best Promos, and may I say, boys and girls, from the bottom of my tracksuit trousers, that you all look good enough to eat. Erererererere. Now then, last week I received a charming, handwritten electronic letter from a young man called Greg. Now. Young Greg lives in a place called Additive Music PR with his mum and dad in a small town called London, and he has asked Best Promos to fix it for him to please, please, please have his favourite music featured on this very blog. Now then. Let me see what old BP can do for this young man's needs.

I instructed our team of producers here, or "Nutters Incorporated" as I call them, to invite young Greg down to our Best Promos HQ in Ruislip to see how we put this blog together, and at the end, we let him write his own content.

"Roll VT."

Now then, now then, you must be Greg from Additive Music PR. Welcome to Eastcote, and may I say, what an honour it is to finally meet you in the flesh. As it happens, you look a lot flatter on paper.

"He he he he he. Thanks BP."

Now. My birdies tell me that you are here to see how a successful weekly UK dance blog is put together and then have your favourite music played on it. Is that right, young man?

"Yes."

Now then, now then, don't be shy, Gregory. Don't be shy. We don't do shy here at Best Promos, do we boys and girls? What kind of music do you like, young Greg?

"I like dance music."

Now. You're going to have to speak up, young Greg, because our microphones won't pick up that muffle. Let us hear you, young man.

"I like dance music, BP. It's really good."

Ererererererererer. Now then, as it happens, I am a big fan of the old dance music myself, and I make it a habit of mine to ram it down my reader's throats every chance I get. In fact, my case comes up next Thursday.

"What do you mean, BP?"

Erererererererererererer. Get to the bit where you talk about your favourite music. My voice is going.

"Well, BP, I'm working on a really amazing new EP from Irish experimental duo Solkatt, and wanted to get it on your radar for potential review coverage.

Gold Seal EP is their first release of 2022, a release that brings together their myriad influences and styles, with elements of techno, house, jungle and electro.

Solkatt are Leo Pearson and Peter Lawlor, a hardware synth loving duo with a penchant for danceable grooves and subtle string arrangements. Lawlor has previously released house inflected dance music under his Replete alias on labels such as Ele Records, Paper Recordings and Always Human Tapes. Pearson has released music on Howie B’s Pussyfoot Records as part of Inevidence in the 90’s, and over the years has worked on music for the likes of David Holmes and Shit Robot, and more recently has been part of Future Bones.

Release dates for the EP are as follows:

Gold Seal + Gold Seal (Leo Pearson Remix) - April 15th
Get These + Get These (Polytunnel Remix) - April 29th
Full EP - May 6th"

Now then, now then. I am glad that I could fix it for you, Young Greg, to share your wares on this enormous blog, and I've got something in my tracksuit trousers that I would like to share with you, my dear fellow. Reach into my pocket, Greg, go on. Have a rummage. Go on.

"It's very hard, BP. And cold."

Yes, young man, it is a solid score out of ten (10/10) for your most favourite music in the whole wide world on the best dance music blog this side of Consort Terrace, Young Greg, and here it is now. Ererererererer:

Buy it hereGold Seal EP
I'm not sure about their social media channels...mysterious people...

What have I been watching this week on the telly? Well, I watched that Gazza two-parter the other day. That was good. Better Call Saul is back. I watched the first episode of the new series on my lunch hour yesterday. It's gearing up to be a good series, that. I'm almost at the end of series three of Killing Eve. People say that Killing Eve isn't as good after series two, but I'm enjoying it. I'm fully up-to-date with This Is Us. Last week was a good one, Katoby. Recommend it. I watched the Jimmy Savile Netflix documentary as well, the dirty get. It was very harrowing, but I couldn't stop thinking about and - I'm ashamed to say - laughing about, the bit where he gets out of his gold Rolls Royce at the hospital in a black silk kimono and sparks up a cigar with an enormous comedy lighter. What a nutter.

I am glad that he's dead, though. I think the world is a better place now.

That's the TV section done. On to more music...

I got chummy with a chap in Screwfix at the weekend, and when I revealed to him that I write a dance music blog, he excitedly lifted up his jumper to show off his brand new Luke Vibert t-shirt. He was jumping up and down on the spot, prodding at Luke's face with his index finger and making monkey-like toddler noises. After he'd calmed down a bit, he told me that he'd bought the t-shirt from the merchandise page on the Hypercolour website for £18.99 and that he'd overheard a pepped-up reveller at a recent I Love Acid party telling the bouncer that Luke Vibert had a new album of acid coming out on Friday 3 June 2022 whilst Posthuman played an acid song over the booming loudspeakers.

I asked my new friend what the album was called. He grabbed me by my long, orange lapels and pulled me close. I felt quite nervous, but I was soon put at ease when he whispered in my ear the words, "Grit. It's called Grit. A whole new album of acid...called Grit."

The man continued to whisper in my ear.

"Deeply ingrained into the fabric of the British electronic music landscape, Luke Vibert shows no sign of slowing down, after an illustrious career spanning three decades (to date!), Vibert returns to Hypercolour after 2020's hugely successful trilogy series (Amen Andrews/Modern Rave/Rave Hop) with his eighteenth album (not counting albums released under his other monikers: Kerrier District, Plug, Wagon Christ, et al)."

I asked the man what the music on the album sounds like.

"GRIT finds Vibert in playful mode (and, let’s face it, whenever isn’t he!), as twelve tracks of acidic and squelching drum machine tracks come rolling out to play. Bouncy and hypnotising 303 jams of the highest order are served up here, with rhythms pulled from the electro, garage and house pools, all delivered in Vibert’s inimitable style."

The bizarre nature of this interaction had made me forget when the album was out, so I asked him for the release details again. He lurched backwards, laughing like the Laughing Policeman, and thundered,

"Artist: Luke Vibert
Title: GRIT.
Label: Hypercolour
Cat No: HYPELP021
Release Date: June 3rd"


I asked the man if there was any way that I could listen to this album before June, even a snippet or two would satisfy my acidic needs. The man in Screwfix opened up the SoundCloud app on his mobile phone and played the following from start to finish, full blast, whilst a nearby gang of Irish workmen covered in white paint began stomping on the spot with incredibly serious looks on their faces.


After the clip had ended, we went our separate ways. I needed to buy a 1-gang dry lining knockout box for the spare room and the man needed to leave the shop for an unknown reason. However, as he walked towards the Screwfix exit, he began to strut like Conor McGregor and started screaming, "Luke Vibert. GRIT on Hypercolour. Ten out of ten! Ten out of ten! 10/10" 

Wow. That was quite an exciting anecdote, wasn't it readers?

My favourite track on GRIT is Screwfix Typeface. What's yours? Email me on bestpromos4eva@gmail.com to discuss this album in greater detail.

Pre-order GRIT hereGRIT
Follow Luke Vibert on Instagram/lukevibertofficial/
Follow Hypercolour on Twitter@hypercolour

I'm not sure where to steer this post from that. I've done two promos and some telly. Is that enough, do we think?


I could do some fake news, maybe? Ivan Smagghe and Erol Alkan played back to back all night long in Hackney last week, and if I didn't have a wife and kids, and if I didn't live in Ruislip, and if I wasn't in my forties, and if I didn't have a proper job outside of this blog, and if I had the energy, and if I had the right set of friends I would definitely have gone to Ivan Smagghe and Erol Alkan playing back to back all night long in Hackney last week.


The fake news bit of this bit is the next bit.

Last week, I went to Ivan Smagghe and Erol Alkan's crucial All Night Long rave party at Studio 9294 in wicked Hackney Wick. I wore a pair of black normcore Uniqlo cords, a box-fresh pair of white Stan Smiths and a washed and ironed Luke Vibert t-shirt. I absolutely stunk of Calvin Klein's Obsession and I felt ready to party...and no mistake! I was there on the dancefloor with all of my trendy new media friends from the first beat until the very last (beat), and let me tell you: it was so good. I lost count of how many beers I drunk, but I definitely went back to the bar for a bag of crisps on more than one occasion - just don't ask me what flavour, I really can't remember...I was all over the shop! Yes, Ivan Smagghe and Erol Alkan started the night off playing slow dance music, but during the peak hours, the music was faster and more lively sounding. I don't remember what the music was like at chucking out time because my head was spinning from all the beer I'd drunk, and I was being carried across the dancefloor by my vegan friends who had all been on the water and poppers all evening. When the lights came on, I ill-advisedly picked a fight with one of the bouncers, who took pity on me and helped my embarrassed friends bundle me into an illegal taxi to be taken safely home to Eastcote where I enjoyed a Good Friday fry up at that cafe by the station. What a night!

The best track, if it was played, was that Sparks edit that I think is unreleased. Tryouts For The Human Race. Erol Alkan played it at Wide Awake last year, and it's on that Homobloc mix above. Erol, can you send me an MP3 or a WAV of it, please? Thanks.

All Night Long was a really great night, and if Ivan and our Erol choose to go back to back again next year, I'll definitely be up for dancing the night away to their music collection again. Definitely.

Ivan Smagghe and Erol Alkan: All Night Long at Studio 9294 gets a WHOPPING 10/10 from everyone here at Best Promos.

#FakeNews

LOL

Logging off. Bye.

Email me on: bestpromos4eva@gmail.com
Tweet me on: @BestPromos4Eva
I don't understand it, but Instagram me on/bestpromos4eva/





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