Well, it's that time of the week again (Friday) where I can't really be bothered to write a thousand words on here, but do need to keep up the online content engagement metric solutions going, so I need to publish something, regardless of its quality. Eh, Ran$om Note? You know what I'm saying, you dig!
Only joshing.
They know what I'm saying. Winking smiley face.
I always call Friday, "Fun Time Friday". It cheers me and my team up no end when I tap dance into the Best Promos HQ singing, "Fun Time Friday...Fun Time Friday...", to the same melody that Frank Skinner used to sing, "Fun Time Frankie", on his old chat show. On a Friday.
When I did it this morning, Pottsy took his trousers down in front of everyone to celebrate.
So, instead of doing some r-r-r-r-really boring dance music reviews, I'm going to tell some jokes to get you chortling into the weekend! LOL
An Iranian, a Jew and a Chinaman walk into a bar, carrying a ladder. The landlord says to them, "Oi, you can't CONTENT REMOVED BY BEST PROMOS LAWYERS
Ok. I'm not allowed to tell you that one because it "might" offend a few people! I'll change it up a bit, then. Think on my feet.
I say, I say, I say. An Iranian, a Jew and a Chinaman walk into Phonica Records. The Iranian says to the bloke who looks a bit like MCA behind the counter that he wants that track that goes like, "doof, doof, doof, doof, living out my feelings, doof, doof, doof, doof..."
MCA goes, without a word of a lie, "you mean that Sylvio B EP on Major Records. Last Forever. Here, it's out today", and he hands the Iranian chap a record.
The Iranian, overjoyed, goes, now forgive the accent, ladies and gentlemen, he goes, "خیلی ممنون آقای Beastie Boy."
The Chinaman pipes up. He bows his head and tells MCA that he wants the one that goes, "doof, doof, doof, doof, and it's got some nice strings on it. And a velly ruvvery bassrine aww rover it." (sorry)
MCA goes, "Ahh, the new one on Heist by Fouk. It's called Mirage and, guess what, this one is out today, and all. Here you go."
Finally, the old Jewish man, Abram, approaches the counter and tells MCA that he'd like the one that's, "a sublime seven-minute deep house odyssey with neon keys from ‘Conclave’ frontman and close friend Toribio and a sprinkling of organic percussion that harks back to the likes of François K and Pal Joey but with Vanilla's sensuous vocals soaring up top, alongside co-vocalist and co-writer Elsa Brown."
MCA goes, "you're talking about the Earthly Mix of Jennifer Vanilla's Jennifer Pastoral on Love Injection Records. It's a corker. Been out for well over a month. Here you are, sir."
Abram says, "Thank you very much, kind man. We have all journeyed to this sacred record shop in search of different things, and the three of us may not agree on what genre of dance music is the best, but we can all live with these different sounds and record collections in harmony, alongside one another for generations to come. A thousand thank you's again to you and your shop, and say hello to the rest of the Beastie Boys for us when you next see them. Oh, and just out of interest, what score out of ten would you collectively award these three releases with...if you had a Kalashnikov to your head?"
MCA goes, without hesitation, and you're going to love this, ladies and gentlemen, he goes, "Ten!"
LOL! I bet you didn't see that punchline coming!!! It's the way I tell 'em.
BUY THE SYLVIO B ONE: Last Forever | Sylvio B | Major Records (bandcamp.com)
FOUKING BUY THE FOUK ONE: Mirage EP | Fouk (bandcamp.com)
BUY THE JENNIFER VANILLA ONE: Jennifer Pastoral (The Love Injection Remixes) | Jennifer Vanilla | Love Injection Records (bandcamp.com)
My old drinking partner, Seamus O'Mick, was so thick that he once got drunk on Guinness, walked into Foxton's estate agent in Notting Hill with a pair of his wife's tights pulled over his face and a sawn-off shotgun in his hand, demanding that they put Havona House into his swag bag! LOL! Seamus is still doing porridge and that poor estate agent's kids don't have a mother anymore! They can't stop us laughing!
Who cut your hair, mate? The council?
Hilarious lookalikes. These are always funny. LOL
Ch-ch-check this out. Have you heard Matt Le Tissier's conspiracy theory that MCA out of the Beastie Boys DIDN'T die of cancer in 2012, but he's alive and working in Phonica Records??? Methinks you might look twice the next time you're in there buying a fabric CD! LOL
Prince Harry lives in America now, but have you ever seen him and this very familiar looking Canadian waxwork in the same room??? Methinks you'll do a double-take the next time you're at Niagra Falls! LOL
I've really had enough now, and I'm sure you have, too.
Have a nice weekend. Bye!
